StatusKing
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"I hope I’m the last guy on earth — I wanna see if all those women were lying to me."
5:44 AM Jul 21st, 2011
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"I do my best proofreading right after I hit send."
8:06 AM Jul 14th, 2011
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"If I was rich, I’d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner."
6:12 AM Jul 13th, 2011
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"Dishwashers should have windows."
7:05 AM Jul 5th, 2011
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"When life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide."
9:09 AM Jul 4th, 2011
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"When in doubt, mumble."
3:45 PM Jun 27th, 2011
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"Red meat is not bad for you. The blue-greenish meat - that’s really bad for you."
11:43 AM Jun 27th, 2011
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"If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot."
4:20 PM Jun 25th, 2011
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"I want to name my next pet Peeve."
8:47 AM Jun 16th, 2011
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Alexander Hamilton was never actually a U.S. president either - so why can't Fabio's picture be on the $10 bill?
12:22 PM Jun 11th, 2011
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"Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries."
7:52 AM Jun 13th, 2011
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"Laughter is a smile with the volume turned up."
7:45 AM Jun 13th, 2011
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The Miss Universe Pageant will be really epic when the women from other planets finally decide to show up.
10:16 AM Jun 11th, 2011
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"The depressing thing about tennis is that you'll never be as good as a wall."
5:37 PM Jun 10th, 2011
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'Dijon vu': the feeling you’ve had this mustard before.
5:00 PM Jun 9th, 2011
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"Don’t insult my intelligense."
8:28 AM Jun 8th, 2011
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"I could never trust a psychic who hasn't won the lottery at least once." ~ SK User Jasmin Aleman
10:51 AM Jun 7th, 2011
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What if there were no hypothetical questions?
10:01 AM Jun 6th, 2011
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"I have the same body I’ve always had. Adjusted for inflation, of course…"
7:26 AM Jun 2nd, 2011
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When I fill out forms, I always put Chuck Norris as my emergency contact. What the heck is my Mom able to do?
1:28 PM Jun 1st, 2011
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- Name Status King
- Web http://facebook.c...
- Bio StatusKing boasts the funniest and most clever status messages on the web. Check us out at StatusKing.net.
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