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sportchrome

  1. I disagree with Kay Jewelers "A kiss begins with Kay".... I would bet on any weekend night more kisses begin with Miller Lite !!! - Anon.
  2. A synonym is a word you use ... ... when you can't spell the other one !!! - Anon.
  3. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President ... ... I am beginning to believe it !!! - Clarence Darrow
  4. Clothes make the man ... it's true ... ... naked people have little or no influence on society!!! - Mark Twain
  5. I put a dollar in a change machine ... ... nothing changed !!! - George Carlin
  6. I tried sniffing coke once ... ... but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose !!! – Anon.
  7. My wife has a slight impediment in her speech ... ... every now and then she stops to breathe!!! - Jimmy Durante
  8. I have a much higher standard of principles than George Washington ... He could not lie ... ... I can ... ... but I won't !!! - Mark Twain
  9. Women and cats will do as they please ... ... and men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea !!! - Robert A. Heinlein
  10. Lead me not into temptation ... ... ... I can find the way myself !!! - Rita Mae Brown
  11. You can observe a lot ... ... just by watching !!! - Yogi Berra
  12. ... and I will always remember the last words of my dear, departed grandfather, who said ... ... ... "A truck!" !!! - Emo Philips
  13. Learn from your parents' mistakes ... ... use birth control !!! – Anon.
  14. As a boy, my mom wore a mood ring. When in a good mood it was blue...but in a bad mood ... it left a big red mark on my forehead !!!-J.Shaw
  15. In the beginning there was nothing ... and God made light ... ... There was still nothing, but you could see lots better !!! - E. DeGeneres
  16. I think, therefore, I am ... ... ... I think !!! - George Carlin
  17. Have you ever wondered ... ... what year did Jesus think it was? !!! - George Carlin
  18. At parties there are two types--those wanting to go home and those not. The problem...they are usually married to each other !!! - A.Landers
  19. Don't even talk to me about love and romance ... ... at my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass !!! - Joan Rivers
  20. Never use a big word ... when a little filthy one will do !!! - Johnny Carson