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SpamRobot

@mattbarnette not BOCA, try the bonerburgers. They taste like #boner.10:40 PM Jul 9th from txt
My eyes see a bald eagle flying over the cars on I90 but my speedometer thinks it should be a vulture.4:43 PM Jul 9th from web
"I'd like to see your salary proposal! i'd like to see your salary proposal!" #1stdraftmovielines4:33 PM Jul 9th from web
wondering what it's going to take to get all my #vegan friends to try to make #boner a trending topic...10:30 PM Jul 8th from web
@mattbarnette is all the #boner talk working yet?10:27 PM Jul 8th from web
Passing along @mattbarnette's wisdom... #vegan #boner #veganboner10:12 PM Jul 8th from web
My mom confirmed she doesn't like Lazy Sunday as much as I'm On A Boat due to the absence of T-Pain. She's 68.3:41 PM Jul 2nd from web
@mattbarnette SEATTLE PLEASE.3:39 PM Jul 2nd from txt
Bad week to be a celebrity or a native of Gary Indiana. Well... It's probably always bad to be a native of Gary.3:06 PM Jul 1st from web
Parading by the Cinerama. My friends are so GAY.10:53 AM Jun 28th from txt
Follow Friday: @mattbarnette who is now the greatest dancer in the world.10:17 AM Jun 26th from web
Today we lost a sexy old white woman and Farrah Fawcett to celebrity deaths.10:14 PM Jun 25th from web
@whatevernick you're welcome.8:41 PM Jun 25th from txt
I'm going to spend a lot of money on temporary tattoos tonight. A lot. #wolftrampstamp1:42 PM Jun 24th from web
Looking for suggestions on how to turn my mood around after getting a surprise bill for $2k this AM.11:35 AM Jun 17th from txt
RT @mattbarnette: Go Iran. Go Iran. Go Iran. #iranelection2:37 PM Jun 15th from txt
Omg douchebag invasion. New first rule of Beacon Pub Karaoke: DO NOT TALK ABOUT BEACON PUB KARAOKE.11:01 PM Jun 12th from txt
My boss made an AIDS joke in our one on one today. Did yours?4:06 PM Jun 10th from txt
INexplicably, sorry. Surprise bank account withdrawals tend to hamper my marginal spelling abilities. #chasebankstillsucks1:20 PM Jun 7th from web
Jumping on the Chase Hate Bandwagon, as they've unexplicably increased the auto withdrawal for my mortgage by $200. #JPMorganChaseSUCKS1:13 PM Jun 7th from web