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Simpsonsquote

  1. What a life. RT @breeolson I forgot to pack my vibrator!!!! Omg! I just sent my assistant to go buy me one. I'm goin crazy without my vibe! 4:23 PM Dec 12th from web
  2. Someone spilled some delicious liquid on the kitchen floor. Sweet. It must be my lucky day. 4:17 PM Dec 12th from web
  3. Actually this all natural peanut butter is good enough to eat with a fork! 3:50 PM Dec 12th from web
  4. on a non-simpsons note: There was only one slice of bread so I had to make my sandwich open-source. 3:50 PM Dec 12th from web
  5. Homer: They broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie. Never love anything. Lisa: Even you? Homer: Especially me. 3:47 PM Dec 12th from web
  6. Nelson: Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark. 10:07 AM Dec 3rd from web
  7. Barney: Jesus must be spinning in his grave! 10:06 AM Dec 3rd from web
  8. Principal Skinner: That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. 10:06 AM Dec 3rd from web
  9. Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. 10:05 AM Dec 3rd from web
  10. Homer: Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true! 10:04 AM Dec 3rd from web
  11. Mr. Burns: [to Smithers, in the present] If only we'd listened to that boy, instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven. 1:17 PM Nov 14th from web
  12. Homer: You know, one day, honest citizens are gonna stand up to you crooked cops! Chief Wiggum: They are?! Oh no! Have they set a date?! 1:16 PM Nov 14th from web
  13. Homer: But I wanna go to Duff Gardens. Right now! Marge: Homer, quit pouting! Homer: I'm not pouting! I'm mourning! ...Stupid dead woman. 1:15 PM Nov 14th from web
  14. Homer: Krusty, you look pretty healthy. How could you have had a heart problem like me? Krusty: I got news for you. This ain't makeup! 1:13 PM Nov 14th from web
  15. ComicBkGy: Seeing as you are unfamiliar with sarcasm I shall close the cash register at this point & state that 99 cents is the rental price 8:37 AM Nov 4th from web
  16. Bart: How do you know so much about history, Grandpa? Grandpa: I pieced it together, mostly from sugar packets! 8:35 AM Nov 4th from web
  17. Moe's Inner Child: [in Italian accent] Hey-a Moe, what's-tha mattah? Ya no talkin' wit ya accent-a no more. Moe: [slaps face] MAMMA-MIA!! 11:27 AM Oct 16th from web
  18. Rescue Worker: Homer, there's no easy way to put this, but we're going to have to saw your arms off. Homer: They'll grow back, right? 11:26 AM Oct 16th from web
  19. Nuclear Regulatory Commission agent: I'm still not sure how he caused the meltdown. There wasn't any nuclear material in the truck!! 11:25 AM Oct 16th from web
  20. Oh and of course: #ff FollowFriday @alexpearlman @thealvaro @whatatroy @mattaukamp and http://twomustaches.com if you haven't heard it. 11:23 AM Oct 16th from web