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Just added "Cutting myself symmetrically in both knees while shaving" to my resume. How much does that add to my annual salary request?12:36 PM Jun 1stvia Twitter for BlackBerry®
Fact: the secret to a happy commute is the balance between the amount of liquid in your coffee cup and the amount of liquid in your bladder.6:28 AM May 31stvia Twitter for BlackBerry®
Ehm.Ehhhhhhha.Hhhhhhhhhm.Eeeehhhhhmmm.Ehhhhhhaaa.Hhhhhaaaaa. Hh.Hhhhh.Hhhhhh.Eeeehh.Hehehe.Ahhhhh. Hhhhhee.Aaahh. - most hated man on train.6:23 AM May 31stvia Twitter for BlackBerry®
firelandCan a man get pregnant LET ME FINISH from sitting on a pregnant lady's toilet? Wikipedia says yes but I really need the answer to be no.7:43 PM May 30thvia webRetweeted by SillyHilli and 118 others
Something's upsetting my stomach. Is it: A. 5 lbs of cake B. Stomach virus C. Butterflies D. Who gives a shit, it's 1:30 am go to sleep.10:32 PM May 25thvia Twitter for BlackBerry®
I'm here to watch the game (get drunk mid day)! not patronise Americans (I'm finally European)! I know who's playing (red vs. Blue team)!2:03 PM May 19thvia Twitter for BlackBerry®