ShuffShuff
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Someone should introduce David Guetta to a thesaurus or something.
6:16 PM Nov 18th
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No! Of course your six photo albums of self-portraits don't make you look self-conscious! And we also believe your hair colors!
7:01 AM Nov 8th
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I'm told that a "shareable dessert" isn't a dessert whose calories are shared between your thighs and tummy. Whatever.
6:55 AM Nov 8th
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Luke Skywalker didn't need a GPS to blow up the death star, so I sure as shit don't need one to find a restaurant.
6:46 PM Oct 13th
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Oh, honey. Calling her T-Swift doesn't make you any more of a man.
9:01 AM Oct 5th
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Well, it's 2 PM and I've managed to shower. Let's call it a day.
11:16 AM Oct 3rd
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I'm thinking about possible careers but I can't find any job field outlook information for Vagabond Petting Zoo er, Inspector.
8:13 PM Oct 1st
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80% of my deleted-before-publishing @-replies, direct messages, and answers are marriage proposals. I love you guys. Especially you.
8:09 PM Oct 1st
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I just refrained from doing something because of a lesson I learned in Mean Girls.
10:17 AM Sep 23rd
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You can tell I had an essay due today because my jeans are alphabetized.
1:33 PM Sep 18th
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What this salad needs is some fro-yo.
4:07 PM Sep 17th
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I've successfully avoided having poorly-executed retweets of my work by never being funny, ever.
8:36 AM Sep 17th
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I've been informed that yes, there is "football or something" on tonight.
3:39 PM Sep 13th
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Yeah, yeah, I see how it is, parents. Talking to boys is a bad idea, right up until Move-In Day.
3:07 PM Sep 2nd
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Someone please tell the cat that we're not on speaking terms until she stops harassing my Twinkies.
12:05 PM Aug 29th
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This toaster needs an undo button. Get in the game, Black & Decker! Even Microsoft Word doesn't make me *eat* my regrets.
10:54 AM Aug 29th
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Absence makes the heart fonder and my bedroom an "ironing studio."
2:16 PM Aug 21st
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Now that I searched the library web site for "Man and Spermman," I'm not sure if the real George Bernard Shaw has a chance.
6:27 AM Aug 11th
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I swear, CNN must be staffed by an army of gossip-hungry fourteen-year-olds.
12:16 PM Aug 10th
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I opened this box of Heart Healthy SmartStart four hours ago.
It's 2/3 of the way gone.
Substance Abuse: I'm do it wrong.
7:32 PM Aug 5th
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- Name ShuffShuff
- Location Williams
- Web http://shuffstuff...
- Bio I like to pretend I'm a lot cooler than I actually am.
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