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  1. Anbormal servicing of The Shouty Villager will return forthwith and once I've kicked a few proverbial bottoms - http://is.gd/1VYj - OK?
  2. Winner of The Shouty Villager's Business Awards for July is Orla Quivers, manufacturers of high-quality arrows since olden times.
  3. Should BikerFest be banned from the village? Henrietta Scuttlers says: "No!"; Laura Norder says: "Yes!" What do you think? http://is.gd/19X2
  4. Read Oona Flucker's tips on tackling summer's greatest menace - children - only in The Shouty Villager: "Get them working" http://is.gd/18Aq
  5. Tomorrow: Mostyn reveals exciting plans for a special villagist episode of a prime-time hit BBC TV drama and how life can immitate art.
  6. Sandra Stallyon returns from holiday at Tepid-next-the-sea having seen the future of education and a solution to exams - http://is.gd/15Va
  7. Coming soon: The Shouty Villager looks ahead to the annual celebration of speed festival and count downs the most influential villagists.
  8. The bloggers will return tomorrow after using the money the editor left for emergencies to go on a bit of a bender - http://is.gd/13LX
  9. Edward Framley: "I'm clueless about financial stuff, but I'm happy to tell everyone what they can do about coping with the credit crunch."
  10. Laura Norder: "The quest to create a fitting lasting tribute to Lady Thatcher, to replace the annual Dress Like a Coal Miner Day, has begun"
  11. TV review: Jimmy Rasher hasn't watched anything but he is in line for a return to our screens as the voice of "Vet School Kitchen Disasters"
  12. Frostbite Phil unites with Paul Tilsley to praise the East European diet and highlights how communism aids sporting success http://is.gd/RJ8
  13. Come and Feed Your Face at our villagist grub-fest. Alas the giant BBQ is cancelled after the fire spread and burnt down the scout hut.
  14. Exclusive: Sandra Stallyon disagrees with another old head about the role of teachers. "Don't let them teach, they should be jailers."
  15. Oona Flucker's health tips #3 - common sense guidelines to prevent small, furry things getting into your undergarments - http://is.gd/PrV
  16. Are you a Village Vixen? The search for the next top villagist clothes horse begins next month. Be there or don't, says Sammy-Lou Westwinds.
  17. EXCLUSIVE: Laura Norder cuts through the lies to expose the real honest truth behind one of the Midlands's biggest ever conspiracy theories.
  18. The Shouty Villager is beside itself with joyness to announce that Derek Belm (me) is the new actual factual Editor-in-Chief. So there!
  19. Next Week in The Shouty Villager: bloggers stating the blindingly obvious and getting in a right old huff about nothing in particular.
  20. Exclusive: Controversial knitted diva and artist Pearl-1 to appear at Midlands festival. The Shouty Villager learns that riots are expected.