Shock_Monster
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There is nothing more sad, frustrating, or lonely than the fact that I'm here and you're not.
Please correct that. Soon.
about 8 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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I retweet your top tweets because If I can't have my favorite jokes make it to the top, fucking neither can you.
about 12 hours ago
via Favstar.FM
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It's strange to think that the only thing Batman needed to defeat Catwoman was a laser pointer.
9:22 PM Jun 1st
via twicca
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Ok, what do you guys got?
"Why don't we just add another blade?"
Perfect! Meeting adjourned."
-Every product design meeting at Gillette ever
about 9 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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@, 25 Favs! Your tweet has been favorited by 25 people.
about 9 hours ago
via Favstar.FM
in reply to Shock_Monster
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I don't care about Disney lying about my Prince Charming. I'm more pissed about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.
6:50 PM Mar 19th
via Twitter for iPhone
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200 years from now, will historians be reading our tweets thinking, people back then were a bunch of perverts with excellent grammar?
12:24 PM May 13th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Hey people that claim to be good people , if you're a good person, you wouldn't have to say it all the time, so shut the fuck up already.
7:35 AM May 24th
via Twitter for Android
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@ Congrats on your 50★ tweet!
about 10 hours ago
via Favstar.FM
in reply to Shock_Monster
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@ Haha!!! I'm sorry...
about 10 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to JustFingKatie
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@ :(
about 10 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to JustFingKatie
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I feel Twitter lacks in quality anal bleaching tweets.
5:36 PM Jun 1st
via TweetCaster for Android
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I'm just a guy. Standing in front of a girl...
Waiting for her to stop yapping with her friend and ring me the fuck out.
about 11 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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I ought to set up one of those Mumblr accounts.
about 12 hours ago
via web
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Fingering myself with a Reese’s because there’s no wrong way to eat one
about 11 hours ago
via Tweetbot for iOS
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PLEASE stop changing your avis. Whenever you do, I have to make a brand new ice sculpture replica of you and I'm already behind as it is.
8:59 AM May 8th
via web
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@ Congrats on your 50★ tweet!
about 11 hours ago
via Favstar.FM
in reply to Shock_Monster
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Where you go? me,asking my mind, it's been gone for awhile
about 11 hours ago
via Mobile Web
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I don't like the term "stalking". I prefer the term "aggressively pursuing a hopeful objective" or "collector of dolls made from your hair"
about 11 hours ago
via web
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Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I'm scared that it's closed.
about 11 hours ago
via web
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