ShitMyDarthSays
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Just saw a confused guy in the street, angrily shouting "Where is the best sushi!?!" at a metal object in his hand.
12:13 PM Jun 1st
via web
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We Need To Talk About Florida
3:50 PM May 31st
via web
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"I'm such a geek! I love nerd stuff!" - super cool way to tell the world you enjoy what everyone else now likes
12:19 PM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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"If I take my pants off now I'll have to put them back on when I want to get froyo in a few hours" - issue I just dealt with
8:20 PM May 24th
via Twitter for iPhone
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"Siri, where are my dragons?" -- Game of iPhones
10:40 AM May 24th
via Twitter for iPhone
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WRITER PRO TIP: A "red herring" is a literary device in which Gingers are killed solely for comic relief.
6:41 PM May 23rd
via Twitter for iPhone
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"May the 4,000 people who say 'May the 4th be with you' to me today and think they're being clever be Force-choked."
7:45 AM May 4th
via Twitter for iPhone
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"I bet God wishes he could digitally alter George Lucas' neck waddle."
4:44 PM Sep 1st, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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"Stay strong, Eastern Seaboard. I know what it feels like when a force is coming right for you."
5:46 PM Aug 26th, 2011
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"The last Senator who tried to tell me I couldn't raise the death ceiling got slap-chopped with a lightsaber."
8:47 AM Jul 29th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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"Hanging out at Comic-Con. Anyone know where they're screening Friends With Benefits?"
8:41 AM Jul 22nd, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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"Not sure what's going on. C-3PO and R2-D2 just abruptly took off in a cruiser and said they were headed to New York."
8:26 PM Jun 24th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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"I don't need a 'Happy' Father's Day. I would settle for my kids just not trying to kill me for an afternoon."
9:32 AM Jun 19th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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"If I get Raptured today I hope the Death Star also ascends to heaven. It would be awesome to annihilate it."
10:18 AM May 21st, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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", May the 5th you not be pregnant with with two asshole children who will try to kill me."
2:37 PM May 4th, 2011
via web
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"Hung out with the ghost of Obi-Wan at an insane Bin Laden-burning Ewok party last night. Fist-bumped President Obama."
8:07 AM May 2nd, 2011
via Tweetbot for iOS
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"I wanted a , but just ended up in a small ceremony with a couple droids (then choked my wife to death)."
9:32 AM Apr 28th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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"Know who else was a birther? Luke Skywalker. Guy just couldn't take an 'I am your father' for an answer."
10:52 AM Apr 27th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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"The only thing 'funnier' than playing the Rebecca Black song when I walk into a room is being Force Choked to death."
8:11 AM Mar 25th, 2011
via web
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"I wish the Dark Side demanded we do more scary stuff like rubbing black ash on our foreheads for a whole day."
8:07 AM Mar 9th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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- Name Luke & Darth Vader
- Web http://BajillionH...
- Bio I'm a Jedi. I live with my dad in a galaxy far, far away. He's a Sith Lord. I just write down shit that he says. (Sporadically updated by @alexblagg.)
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