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SheaSerrano

  1. I don't like that new thing Google is doing where the page slowly fades in. I'm always like, "Oh what the hel-- oh, that's right."
  2. Current Champ: Boy B, for his successful deployment on the master bed during a game of Hide and Seek. (2/2)
  3. It appears my sons are locked in a viciously competitive game called "Who Can Take Their Diaper Off And Poop In The Weirdest Place?" (1/2)
  4. I will never ever understand how a touchscreen works. U could tell me it works b/c a wizard's blessed it and I'd be like, "Oh, interesting."
  5. Ice sk8ing can never end well for men. U can only either (1) fall & eat shit, or (2) be good @ ice sk8ing. Either way, u look like an ass.
  6. Seen those @lancearmstronG ads online lately? How is it he's more cut-up than me? DIdn't he have supercancer or something? Jesus, I'm lazy.
  7. When I watch The George Lopez show it makes me wish my eyes could grow legs and walk right the fuck out of my head.
  8. Fact: Mexican women's wombs work at hyperspeed. Typical gestation period for our babies is only 6 months. We're like howler monkeys.
  9. HOLY CRAP! The British Embassy just emailed me to let me know I've been awarded the sum of 2,000,000 pounds! Nice knowing you, bitches.
  10. I'm almost certain @LilFlip713 plans on wearing cornrows until they come back into style. Thumbs up for your dedication, sir.
  11. Why hasnt Kurt Russell being deified like Swayze has? He woos snooty rich heiresses, fights mystical Japanese warriors; what more do u need?
  12. Question: We're all agreed it's not ok 4 me to use the full form "nigga." However, whats the rule w/ abbreviations? Can I say "HNIC"? "GNR"?
  13. @KBXX979TheBox I was all excited to go see the Ginuwine, Dru Hill and K-Ci & Jo-Jo concert, then I remembered it's not 2001 anymore.
  14. Why are there so few fat vampires? Seems like they'd be the easiest people to catch. I think vampires might be fatists. (Is that something?)
  15. Starting Twitter 4 2pac. It'll say things like "Man, it's dark in here" & "Ewww, bugs." Get it? Cause he's in a coffin. I'm so in your face.
  16. I do not like zombies. They're always all, "I'm gonna eat your brains." I'm like, "Give it a rest." But they never do.
  17. Tyler Perry's House of Payne is the dumbest show on tv. Everlast's House ofPain was the dumbest hiphop of the 90s. This cant be coincidence
  18. Eating a box of pizza bagel bites 4 brkfst is just as healthy as walking up to a horse and letting him kick you in the guts. Ack.
  19. OH--MAH--GAHD! I GOT DA CUTEST SWEATER 4RM THE GAP TODAY! AWESOMENESS! NOT SO MUCH! 24/7! BEST EVER! WORST EVER! SNARF SNARF SNARF! Kill me.
  20. I like when people try to sound profound on Twitter. It's Twitter, bitches. Twitter.