SheaSerrano
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I don't like that new thing Google is doing where the page slowly fades in. I'm always like, "Oh what the hel-- oh, that's right."
about 8 hours ago
from web
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Current Champ: Boy B, for his successful deployment on the master bed during a game of Hide and Seek. (2/2)
about 18 hours ago
from web
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It appears my sons are locked in a viciously competitive game called "Who Can Take Their Diaper Off And Poop In The Weirdest Place?" (1/2)
about 18 hours ago
from web
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I will never ever understand how a touchscreen works. U could tell me it works b/c a wizard's blessed it and I'd be like, "Oh, interesting."
1:45 PM Dec 7th
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Ice sk8ing can never end well for men. U can only either (1) fall & eat shit, or (2) be good @ ice sk8ing. Either way, u look like an ass.
11:38 AM Dec 7th
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Seen those @ ads online lately? How is it he's more cut-up than me? DIdn't he have supercancer or something? Jesus, I'm lazy.
11:06 AM Dec 7th
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When I watch The George Lopez show it makes me wish my eyes could grow legs and walk right the fuck out of my head.
5:40 PM Dec 5th
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Fact: Mexican women's wombs work at hyperspeed. Typical gestation period for our babies is only 6 months. We're like howler monkeys.
7:43 AM Dec 4th
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HOLY CRAP! The British Embassy just emailed me to let me know I've been awarded the sum of 2,000,000 pounds! Nice knowing you, bitches.
1:14 PM Dec 2nd
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I'm almost certain @ plans on wearing cornrows until they come back into style. Thumbs up for your dedication, sir.
9:05 AM Dec 2nd
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Why hasnt Kurt Russell being deified like Swayze has? He woos snooty rich heiresses, fights mystical Japanese warriors; what more do u need?
7:33 AM Dec 2nd
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Question: We're all agreed it's not ok 4 me to use the full form "nigga." However, whats the rule w/ abbreviations? Can I say "HNIC"? "GNR"?
6:58 PM Dec 1st
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@ I was all excited to go see the Ginuwine, Dru Hill and K-Ci & Jo-Jo concert, then I remembered it's not 2001 anymore.
8:29 AM Dec 1st
from web
in reply to KBXX979TheBox
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Why are there so few fat vampires? Seems like they'd be the easiest people to catch. I think vampires might be fatists. (Is that something?)
8:04 AM Dec 1st
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Starting Twitter 4 2pac. It'll say things like "Man, it's dark in here" & "Ewww, bugs." Get it? Cause he's in a coffin. I'm so in your face.
7:04 AM Dec 1st
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I do not like zombies. They're always all, "I'm gonna eat your brains." I'm like, "Give it a rest." But they never do.
6:44 AM Dec 1st
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Tyler Perry's House of Payne is the dumbest show on tv. Everlast's House ofPain was the dumbest hiphop of the 90s. This cant be coincidence
8:24 AM Nov 30th
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Eating a box of pizza bagel bites 4 brkfst is just as healthy as walking up to a horse and letting him kick you in the guts. Ack.
8:08 AM Nov 30th
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OH--MAH--GAHD! I GOT DA CUTEST SWEATER 4RM THE GAP TODAY! AWESOMENESS! NOT SO MUCH! 24/7! BEST EVER! WORST EVER! SNARF SNARF SNARF! Kill me.
6:18 PM Nov 28th
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I like when people try to sound profound on Twitter. It's Twitter, bitches. Twitter.
11:29 PM Nov 25th
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- Name Shea Serrano
- Location Houston
- Web http://www.housto...
- Bio Music Critic for the Houston Press. Gentle lover.
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