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SheaSerrano

  1. I don't like that new thing Google is doing where the page slowly fades in. I'm always like, "Oh what the hel-- oh, that's right." about 8 hours ago from web
  2. Current Champ: Boy B, for his successful deployment on the master bed during a game of Hide and Seek. (2/2) about 18 hours ago from web
  3. It appears my sons are locked in a viciously competitive game called "Who Can Take Their Diaper Off And Poop In The Weirdest Place?" (1/2) about 18 hours ago from web
  4. I will never ever understand how a touchscreen works. U could tell me it works b/c a wizard's blessed it and I'd be like, "Oh, interesting." 1:45 PM Dec 7th from web
  5. Ice sk8ing can never end well for men. U can only either (1) fall & eat shit, or (2) be good @ ice sk8ing. Either way, u look like an ass. 11:38 AM Dec 7th from web
  6. Seen those @lancearmstronG ads online lately? How is it he's more cut-up than me? DIdn't he have supercancer or something? Jesus, I'm lazy. 11:06 AM Dec 7th from web
  7. When I watch The George Lopez show it makes me wish my eyes could grow legs and walk right the fuck out of my head. 5:40 PM Dec 5th from web
  8. Fact: Mexican women's wombs work at hyperspeed. Typical gestation period for our babies is only 6 months. We're like howler monkeys. 7:43 AM Dec 4th from web
  9. HOLY CRAP! The British Embassy just emailed me to let me know I've been awarded the sum of 2,000,000 pounds! Nice knowing you, bitches. 1:14 PM Dec 2nd from web
  10. I'm almost certain @LilFlip713 plans on wearing cornrows until they come back into style. Thumbs up for your dedication, sir. 9:05 AM Dec 2nd from web
  11. Why hasnt Kurt Russell being deified like Swayze has? He woos snooty rich heiresses, fights mystical Japanese warriors; what more do u need? 7:33 AM Dec 2nd from web
  12. Question: We're all agreed it's not ok 4 me to use the full form "nigga." However, whats the rule w/ abbreviations? Can I say "HNIC"? "GNR"? 6:58 PM Dec 1st from web
  13. @KBXX979TheBox I was all excited to go see the Ginuwine, Dru Hill and K-Ci & Jo-Jo concert, then I remembered it's not 2001 anymore. 8:29 AM Dec 1st from web in reply to KBXX979TheBox
  14. Why are there so few fat vampires? Seems like they'd be the easiest people to catch. I think vampires might be fatists. (Is that something?) 8:04 AM Dec 1st from web
  15. Starting Twitter 4 2pac. It'll say things like "Man, it's dark in here" & "Ewww, bugs." Get it? Cause he's in a coffin. I'm so in your face. 7:04 AM Dec 1st from web
  16. I do not like zombies. They're always all, "I'm gonna eat your brains." I'm like, "Give it a rest." But they never do. 6:44 AM Dec 1st from web
  17. Tyler Perry's House of Payne is the dumbest show on tv. Everlast's House ofPain was the dumbest hiphop of the 90s. This cant be coincidence 8:24 AM Nov 30th from web
  18. Eating a box of pizza bagel bites 4 brkfst is just as healthy as walking up to a horse and letting him kick you in the guts. Ack. 8:08 AM Nov 30th from web
  19. OH--MAH--GAHD! I GOT DA CUTEST SWEATER 4RM THE GAP TODAY! AWESOMENESS! NOT SO MUCH! 24/7! BEST EVER! WORST EVER! SNARF SNARF SNARF! Kill me. 6:18 PM Nov 28th from web
  20. I like when people try to sound profound on Twitter. It's Twitter, bitches. Twitter. 11:29 PM Nov 25th from web