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ShadowCrash

  1. I lost to Ashton by 999,972. New plan. I will be the first to follow 1,000,000!10:02 AM Apr 23rd from web
  2. Only 999,970 followers to go to beat Ashton! Keep it up, twitterites. I'm serious about the 10k.11:27 AM Apr 16th from web
  3. Actually, Ashton's doing it wrong. I'll randomly select one of my followers and give them $10k if I beat Ashton to 1 million.11:07 AM Apr 16th from web
  4. Any chance I can beat Ashton to 1,000,000? $10,000 to my millionth follower if you make this happen.11:05 AM Apr 16th from web
  5. Preview of next year's 1040 form: If you're name is "Hank Greenburg" enter $1,000,000 in box 21c.1:14 PM Mar 20th from web
  6. O.J. Simpson promised to bring the real killers to justice thirteen years ago. Today, he finally fulfilled his promise.2:22 PM Dec 5th, 2008 from web
  7. OJ sentenced today. I guess the "if it's his shit, you must aquite" defense didn't work. 12/05/2008: The juice is no longer loose.12:30 PM Dec 5th, 2008 from web
  8. It was only a flesh wound #6wordepitaph12:08 PM Dec 5th, 2008 from web
  9. Second fastest draw in New York #6wordepitaph12:05 PM Dec 5th, 2008 from web
  10. Remember kids: gas right, brake left #6wordepitaph12:04 PM Dec 5th, 2008 from web
  11. I told you I was sick #6wordepitaph12:03 PM Dec 5th, 2008 from web
  12. Remember that time? That was great. #6wordepitaph12:00 PM Dec 5th, 2008 from web
  13. People are confusing #6wordepitaph with #6wordlastwords. I'm not complaining, the #6wordlastwords are better.11:57 AM Dec 5th, 2008 from web
  14. I'm debating what pathetic bowl game will extend an offer to Notre Dame. Charlie Weis wants the Papa John's bowl, for obvious reasons.10:29 AM Nov 24th, 2008 from web
  15. Gov't Bail-out extended to rescue Notre Dame Football. Weis' buy-out picked up by the tax-payers, rules against paying players suspended.7:49 AM Nov 24th, 2008 from web
  16. This is genius! (Animal farm wasn't just about animals) http://tinyurl.com/6fnkzp5:32 AM Nov 21st, 2008 from web
  17. Seems we have a "once in a hundred years" storm every year. http://tinyurl.com/6nq57812:12 PM Nov 20th, 2008 from web
  18. First wall street, then Detroit. While we're at it, we should buy some of Florida's over priced condos and take turns hitting the beach.11:56 AM Nov 20th, 2008 from web
  19. Ted Stevens, fresh off his loss in the Alaskan senate race, announced he's going to work for his local best buy's geek squad .9:55 AM Nov 19th, 2008 from web
  20. Conducting phone interviews for a tech position ranks somewhere above being waterboarded and below having my eyelashes pulled out 1 by 15:36 AM Nov 12th, 2008 from web