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SexyJohnGriggs

  1. How do you say "I'm trying to sleep! Turn off that damn leaf blower or I'll come out there & stick it up your ass!" in Spanish? 10:46 PM May 3rd via Mobile Web
  2. I know that Jesus loves me. I can't return the favor because I'm not attracted to gay Latinos. 9:38 PM May 3rd via Mobile Web
  3. I told my boss today "You're an idiot! I'm quitting this stupid job!" Everyone around me was shocked... probably because I'm self-employed. 4:21 PM Apr 27th via Mobile Web
  4. New blog:Alternatives to Getting a Regular Job - bit.ly/I9fc35 11:26 PM Apr 7th via web
  5. My boss documented that a customer used fowl language. I wonder how that conversation went. "I'm not paying this bill! Bawk Bawk Bawk Bawk!" 10:34 PM Apr 1st via Mobile Web
  6. On my new suit it says "professional dry clean only". Is there any unprofessional dry cleaners? "Ma'am here's your suit! BTW, nice tits!" 8:54 PM Mar 25th via Mobile Web
  7. Article on how to get paid comedy gigs: bit.ly/x6377t 7:43 PM Mar 14th via web
  8. I'm looking for a job. In my cover letter should I write "Hire me! Pretty please with sugar on top?" 9:10 PM Mar 8th via Mobile Web
  9. Opinions are like assholes. Sometimes they're fucked! 9:04 PM Mar 8th via Mobile Web
  10. If you're broke, develop your skills so you can help others more to build wealth. Complaining is not going to help you. 8:24 PM Mar 8th via Mobile Web
  11. If you're single you can either be miserable or use this time to improve yourself so you can attract your ideal partner. 8:16 PM Mar 8th via Mobile Web
  12. What did Rihanna say to Chris Brown after they got in a fight? "You idiot! I said I like black GUYS!" 9:22 PM Mar 5th via Mobile Web
  13. What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna? "I'd hit that!" 9:18 PM Mar 5th via Mobile Web
  14. I recently started seeing a new woman. For Lent she's giving it up for 40 days. 11:00 PM Feb 22nd via Mobile Web
  15. If you're a guy & a woman says this to you, you're definitely getting laid! "You're not a cop are you?" 9:14 AM Jan 29th via Mobile Web
  16. Woman tells me she doesn't believe in sex before marriage. I can respect that. Fortunately, both of us were married in previous lives. 10:46 AM Jan 20th via Mobile Web
  17. Last time I was in Vegas I saw a really gorgeous looking whore! I was looking in the mirror. 8:09 PM Jan 12th via Mobile Web
  18. See me do comedy & celebrate my birthday with me at Toso's! 2401 W Union Hills Dr PHX. Fri Jan 13 830pm. It's gonna rock! 8:05 PM Jan 12th via Mobile Web
  19. I'm performing tonight at Mountain View Rec Center. 2927 E Campbell Ave, PHX. Show starts at 7pm. Only $5 for a fun night of clean comedy. 9:48 AM Jan 7th via web
  20. Here's an erotic short story I wrote recently... bit.ly/zmAOnK 3:10 PM Jan 6th via web