SedatedApe
-
I think that Three Stooges movies should be banned in Africa. Showing starving people movies that have lot of pie fights is just cruel.
3:38 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
Secret now makes a product called “Clinical Strength Deodorant”. I’d hate to have to work at a clinic like that
3:36 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
I need to come up with a better pick up line than “Wanna see a dead body?”.
3:36 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
Well, now I’ve seen everything! So, that’s out of the way.
3:35 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
Consumer tip: Never pay over face value for a quarter, and make sure you don’t have to pay for shipping & handling. That’s how they get you.
3:31 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
I don’t think judges should use hyperbole – There is no way I’m really “an affront to all things decent”. “Most things“, maybe. But not all.
3:30 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
I used to try to eat every meal like it was my last. I gained 20 pounds before I realized I got the saying wrong.
3:29 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
fact: Barack Hussein Obama’s name is an anagram of “Kill the infidels, praise be to Allah” if you misspell his first, middle and last names
3:29 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
Tip: If you go to the nakednews.com site, close the window as soon as you hear them say, “And now a few minutes with Andy Rooney…”
3:28 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
My grandfather was a movie star before movies had sound. Or pictures. Mostly he just stood on street corners and pretended he was a cowboy.
3:27 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
I just realized there’s no truth whatsoever to the saying, “You learn something new every day. ” So far today, I haven’t learned a… um… Damn
3:26 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
It’s sad that people are afraid of change. They’re only coinsl, as long as you keep them out of your mouth and ears they can’t hurt you
3:24 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
If a masochist dies without finding Christ, does he go to hell? If so, does it still count as punishment if he gets off on it?
3:22 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
On dry cleaning bag they print “this bag is not a toy”. This proves that the guys in the dry cleaning industry have very poor imaginations.
3:22 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
Telling a whole joke in 140 characters is a lot harder than I imagined
6:01 PM Jul 12th
from web
-
Godwin’s Law sure takes a lot of the fun out of my discussion group for WW2 history buffs.
5:56 PM Jul 12th
from web
-
If I could save time in a bottle I’d have more room for other magazines on the coffee table.
5:54 PM Jul 12th
from web
-
When someone asks me my age I say “34 of your Earth years”. I think it helps to make me seem exotic and mysterious. Like superman. Or Alf.
5:54 PM Jul 12th
from web
-
I have a very mild form of bulimia. After a big meal I often sneak off my myself and intentionally drool a lot
5:52 PM Jul 12th
from web
-
I’m working on a novel that looks back at how things would be different if no one ever came up with the idea of historical fiction.
5:51 PM Jul 12th
from web
|
|
