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SeanINCypress

  1. If there's a nicer dude *ahem* mate than @Aspersioncast with a bigger reason to be a douche, I haven't found him #FF about 9 hours ago via TweetDeck
  2. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have significantly raised your chances of some horrific bacterial infection. about 10 hours ago via TweetDeck
  3. So liberating to stop tweeting for trophies, and start tweeting for unfollows! about 10 hours ago via TweetDeck
  4. Funny how angry people age so much faster than happy people, but they deserve it :) about 10 hours ago via TweetDeck
  5. It would suck to be a baby gator, have your palm read, and grow up knowing that one day you'd be one of Garth Brooks' belts. 4:28 PM May 31st via TweetDeck
  6. Face. The other white meat. 7:42 PM May 29th via TweetDeck
  7. I just swerved to avoid hitting a kid on a skateboard wearing a Skrillex shirt, so I'm sabotaging my own bucket list. 12:05 PM May 28th via TweetDeck
  8. If I was a professional wrestler, my finishing move would be to give them a detailed history of my grandma's cats. 8:23 AM May 28th via TweetDeck
  9. T Rex: I just ate a fish THIS LONG! (stretches arms) Orangutan: Call me when you catch one THIS LONG! T Rex: Really? Be cool, man. 7:13 AM May 27th via Favstar.FM
  10. Every time I decide that I'm really going to do something with my life, they add another documentary about weird diseases to Netflix. 1:21 PM May 26th via TweetDeck
  11. Siri, how do you block Siri jokes? 2:14 PM May 25th via TweetDeck
  12. The snack bar in hell will only take Discover cards. 10:34 AM May 25th via TweetDeck
  13. It's hard to decide on my favorite musician who has died choking on their own vomit. 8:48 AM May 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. New to twitter? Prepare for a wet towel whip in the shower. Except you're dressed. Watching The Notebook. Crying a little. 7:31 PM May 23rd via TweetDeck
  15. Maybe you should stop wearing sunglasses inside, and you'd find what you're looking for, BONO!! 12:34 PM May 23rd via TweetDeck
  16. I think we all should watch The Breakfast Club again. 5:04 PM May 22nd via TweetDeck
  17. If there's one thing I've learned from True Blood, it's that vampires, and werewolves, can afford lots of personal trainers and steroids. 1:29 PM May 22nd via TweetDeck
  18. If you Shazam a Coldplay song, do you have to register as a sex offender? 10:32 AM May 22nd via TweetDeck
  19. I like to refer to litter boxes as Third Eye Blind's Greatest Hits. 1:38 PM May 21st via TweetDeck
  20. James Bond: How many little bullets will it hold? Jeweler: It's a Rolex, sir, it doesn't fire bullets. James Bond: Ahh, gotcha. It's a bomb? 12:37 PM May 19th via Favstar.FM
  • Name Sean
  • Location Houston, TX
  • Web http://favstar.fm...
  • Bio How much do I care about you? Well, I cry when I daydream about washing your hair, and I have a mini statue of you on my Atari made from cat poop.
743 Following 9,020 Followers 748 Listed
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