Hey there! ScrewtapeTweets is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What's happening? Join today to start receiving ScrewtapeTweets's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

ScrewtapeTweets

Got money? God gave it to YOU for a reason. So spend it on you. If he wanted poor people rich, he'd have given it to them himself. 8:16 AM Nov 10th from Echofon
Great how shocked people are when celebs die. Like they should be immune. Or that death is like AIDS - nasty but won't happen to you. 4:39 AM Oct 13th from web
Make old people change-resistant & young people change-insistant. That's a recipe for the downward change we're after! 7:31 AM Oct 9th from web
You MUST be born again? Too pushy. Try: You might like to be born again. If you fancy it. Or not. Up to you. 8:06 AM Oct 6th from web
God made promises to Abraham & Isaac & David. Good for them. Move along now. Nothing for you here. 1:00 AM Sep 28th from web
"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." No one who knows what Hell is truly like intends to come. So keep them ignorant of it. 8:40 AM Sep 8th from web
Men will cough & moan but refuse to go to a doctor. Encourage the same thing spiritually. 2:30 AM Aug 21st from web
And now the floodgates of guilt open. You fool, you nearly shipwrecked your marriage! What God has joined together, it's my job to separate. 2:20 AM Aug 11th from HootSuite
Because he didn't kiss that nice client, my patient feels it's not so bad for him to watch porn today. 2:11 AM Aug 10th from HootSuite
Patient's meeting with client was a success. He can't stop thinking about her. But he's proud that he didn't act on it. 2 birds, 1 stone! 4:05 AM Aug 5th from HootSuite
Patient met a client today who he found very attractive. Reminded him it wouldn't hurt to schedule another meeting tomorrow. Dedication! 3:45 AM Aug 4th from HootSuite
New patient is known to have a wonderful marriage. The more well-known the better. Everyone will notice the slightest fall. 2:05 AM Aug 3rd from HootSuite
I've found a patient to focus on for a while. He's just what I've been looking for. Main criteria: complacent. 2:00 AM Aug 3rd from HootSuite
Be cynical about everything. Except cynicism. 4:09 AM Jul 29th from web
I look forward to hearing your "Lord, Lord, but we cast out demons in your name" speech soon. 3:52 AM Jul 24th from web
@doncormack If the gates of Hell are locked from the inside then many of us are locked out. We are among you. Your guardian (fallen) angels. 2:13 AM Jul 20th from web
Beware of very specific complaints. Those might be solved. Encourage a general sense of not-as-good-as-it-should-be. That'll kill a church. 8:55 AM Jul 17th from web
What did YOU do yesterday? Anything interesting? We all had fascinating & not-at-all-embarrassing Sundays. And a lie-in. You?!? 3:06 AM Jul 6th from web
Make them think of evenings & weekends as "their free time." If it's theirs & meant to be free, they won't use it to serve the Enemy. 4:42 AM Jun 29th from web
Don't set their romantic expectations from porn. Too obvious. Do it from rom-coms and Dawson's Creek. Much harder to weed out. 12:29 AM Jun 26th from web

Name Screwtape
Location Hell
Web http://tinyurl.co...
Bio THE SCREWTAPE TWEETS. My dear Wormwood. My letters have fallen into the Enemy's hands. Perhaps Twitter is the way forward. Your affectionate uncle, Screwtape.