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Scott_Comedy

You don't see many ninjas these days. Which means they're only getting better. about 10 hours ago via Twitter for Android
People make me sick. I guess I should stop eating them. 8:54 AM Jun 3rd via Twitter for Android
"Serial Killer" is a bit strong. I prefer the term "Ghost Manufacturer" 9:51 AM Jun 2nd via Twitter for Android
Kieron_Dawson @Scott_Comedy jus seen a guy who looked just like you! But then i suppose all you people look alike? 4:44 AM Jun 1st via Twitter for Android Retweeted by Scott_Comedy
@TheAdman7 3:41 AM Jun 1st via Twitter for Android in reply to TheAdman7
Simple as that. Tweet for a follow back. 11:45 AM May 31st via Twitter for Android
@mrwilko20 Of course! 11:43 AM May 31st via Twitter for Android
@IamLucyWood are his customers fat? 7:21 AM May 31st via Twitter for Android in reply to IamLucyWood
I hate my cooking classes. Teacher is shit. She keeps saying things like,"you didn’t add enough flour" and "get your penis out of that cake" 7:13 AM May 31st via Twitter for Android
I've been interviewed by @comedyblog. It was good fun. 2:29 AM May 30th via Twitter for Android
@Justthetonic 'No, because you smell of shit' 2:21 AM May 30th via Twitter for Android
@Justthetonic I was chatting to this girl and i said 'Were you born on a farm?' 'Why? because I certainly know how to raise a cock' 2:21 AM May 30th via Twitter for Android
@Donna_Gallers record them 12:08 AM May 30th via Twitter for Android in reply to Donna_Gallers
Got a good few new followers last night. Tweet me if I haven't followed you. 12:06 AM May 30th via Twitter for Android
I got my girlfriend to smuggle coke through customs by sticking it up her arse. didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge 1:35 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android
Going to McDonald's for a salad? That makes about as much sense as going to a crack-house for vitamins. 1:33 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android
Sex is a lot like Tetris. I'm not very good at either and just end up jamming the piece in anywhere. 1:31 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android
BOP IT! TWIST IT! PULL IT! ...And that's how I lost my penis. 1:28 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android
My girlfriend says I take too many chances. My Monopoly set, my rules. 1:26 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android
I had a dream that I was flying last night.. Row 12, Seat D. It was a shit dream. 1:20 PM May 29th via Twitter for Android

Name Scott Porter
Location Middlesbrough
Bio 20 year old stand up comic from Middlesbrough. Can sometimes be offensive,follow me if you dare! Ask me for a followback! Cunt. That is all.