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ScotsSockMonkey

  1. On the bus. Gadgy beside me is havin the type o pone call where I imagine the guy on the other end backin awa slowly4:56 PM Jul 8th from mobile web
  2. Mr. EvilLandlord is back frae his mornin bike ride lookin puggled. While he wis oot I raided the fridge. Think I beat him in the fun stakes!6:31 AM Jul 8th from mobile web
  3. Saw a stationary bike the ither day called a 'Pursuit'. What can ye pursue wi' an exercise bike?4:29 PM Jul 6th from mobile web
  4. The local sausage factory is burnin doon. I can smell bangers a' over toon. It's makin me insane wi' hunger.10:27 AM Jul 6th from web
  5. I feel the need... The need for misdeeds!5:50 AM Jul 6th from web
  6. Mr. EvilLandlord got me 'magic fish' that expand in water. I pit them in ma beer. They grew 600% aun started singin "I belong tae Glesgae"7:50 AM Jul 5th from web
  7. In honour o' the 4th I'll be drinkin whiskey instead o' whisky as ma breakfast apperitif the day.7:24 AM Jul 4th from mobile web
  8. The local July 4th festival is advertisin clowns aun fireworks. How could that possibly go awry?12:54 PM Jul 3rd from web
  9. Layin low. It's rent day aun I spent a' ma dosh on coconuts an flooers fer the missus (which I ate on the way hame so she's nae too chuffed)5:00 AM Jul 2nd from web
  10. Mr. EvilLandlord is gonnae try taephotograph the fireworks tomorrow night. Should be guid fer a giggle. Dinnae get too close!4:09 AM Jul 2nd from web
  11. His response? "Perhaps they're bleeding because you just stabbed them".6:46 PM Jul 1st from mobile web
  12. Mr. EvilLandlord wis gettin his teeth looked at. She poked under his gum wi an icepick and said the bleeding worried her. Worried him more.6:44 PM Jul 1st from mobile web
  13. Mr. EvilLandlord is recordin a show called "Bear Feedin Frenzy". I hope he disnae get any 'bright' ideas aboot feedin me tae ony animals.5:06 PM Jun 30th from web
  14. Waitin in line at the bank. As always, the security guard gave me a suspicious stare. Like a wee monkey like me could dae a smash-n-grab!2:18 PM Jun 30th from mobile web
  15. I'm all puffed oot fae runnin for the bus. Then the bus driver didnae see me doon here so I had tae chap on the door for him tae let me in.3:29 PM Jun 29th from mobile web
  16. Spent the day avoidin Mr. EvilLandlord. He's on a low-everything diet so he's awfy grumpy. I also had to hide ma chocolate covered bananas.9:59 AM Jun 29th from web
  17. True story: Man whining in a bar that they didn't have the junior version of Monopoly to play with his son. In a bar! IN A BAR!5:58 PM Jun 26th from web
  18. Because sock monkeys generally dinnae hae birthdays I'm declarin today National Sock Monkey day. On wi the gifts!5:44 AM Jun 26th from web
  19. The cottonwood blawin aroon made it look like it wis snawin the day. Quite amazin. There were drifts o' the stuff all over.3:46 PM Jun 24th from mobile web
  20. Come tae think o'it - this raises a very important philosophical question - do sock monkey's wear socks?5:09 AM Jun 24th from web
  • Name Tripod McSockMonkey
  • Location Milwaukee, WI
  • Bio See the USA through the eyes of a Scottish Sock Monkey. I dare you!
14 Following 29 Followers
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