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Sarcasmatic

  1. Quote of the day: "On Xmas? I'm just gonna see a movie and eat Chinese food with all the other Jews." 1:19 PM Nov 24th from web
  2. I love it when people call my office and have the wrong number - then proceed to argue with me about it. 7:29 AM Nov 19th from web
  3. Just used a neti pot for the first time. Surprisingly, I did not die. 5:27 PM Nov 16th from web
  4. Annnnd I am quicky corrected. http://bit.ly/39m0Lp 9:07 AM Nov 13th from web
  5. Politico: The RNC purchases its insurance from Cigna. Sales agents for Cigna said that the RNC's policy covers elective abortion 8:51 AM Nov 13th from web
  6. A change is gonna come? http://bit.ly/1JDl6z 12:58 PM Nov 9th from web
  7. I have an unhealthy level of excitement about my trip to Target this evening. Oh Target, I love you so much. 11:41 AM Nov 4th from web
  8. For someone usually thrilled to dress up like an idiot on Halloween, I am decidedly "meh" about it this year. Must be getting old. 9:35 AM Oct 30th from web
  9. http://twitpic.com/nfm2y - Sometimes my dog strikes seductive poses. This is known as Burt Reynoldsing. 1:46 PM Oct 29th from TwitPic
  10. @BigEyedZiggy Does your side project require actual musical talent? 1:41 PM Oct 29th from web in reply to BigEyedZiggy
  11. Absolutely cannot get enough pandora.com. Just wish their song list was a little more extensive. 6:44 AM Oct 29th from web
  12. Christ People! When did everyone become so GD helpless? Use your brains, people. Brrraaaaaaaiiiinns! 1:08 PM Oct 28th from web
  13. Advice of the day: Handle every stressful situation like a dog. Pee on it and walk away 11:50 AM Oct 27th from web
  14. Wants to carve more pumpkins 11:30 AM Oct 26th from web
  15. @mshowalter @michaelianblack I remember last time u were in Chicago - I bought tix and then MIB didn't show, date moved and I was out $$ :( 9:29 AM Oct 7th from web in reply to mshowalter
  16. http://bit.ly/YwQ7E 11:08 AM Oct 6th from web
  17. I cannot even begin to understand why celebs are calling for the release of Roman Polanski. What the hell is wrong with you people? 11:56 AM Sep 30th from web
  18. RT @drewtoothpaste Told Speedway guy wallet's too small for Speedy card. He said, "I tattooed mine," ran his arm over the laser n said BOOP. 3:42 PM Sep 25th from web
  19. Loved House this week. So nice to see some new character development and plot lines outside of the formulaic "sick guy, diagnose, save" 8:13 AM Sep 24th from web
  20. The boyfriend sent me flowers at work yesterday. It's almost as though he likes me or something. 7:46 AM Sep 9th from web