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Sarcasmatic

  1. I have an unhealthy level of excitement about my trip to Target this evening. Oh Target, I love you so much.11:41 AM Nov 4th from web
  2. For someone usually thrilled to dress up like an idiot on Halloween, I am decidedly "meh" about it this year. Must be getting old.9:35 AM Oct 30th from web
  3. http://twitpic.com/nfm2y - Sometimes my dog strikes seductive poses. This is known as Burt Reynoldsing.1:46 PM Oct 29th from TwitPic
  4. @BigEyedZiggy Does your side project require actual musical talent?1:41 PM Oct 29th from web in reply to BigEyedZiggy
  5. Absolutely cannot get enough pandora.com. Just wish their song list was a little more extensive.6:44 AM Oct 29th from web
  6. Christ People! When did everyone become so GD helpless? Use your brains, people. Brrraaaaaaaiiiinns!1:08 PM Oct 28th from web
  7. Advice of the day: Handle every stressful situation like a dog. Pee on it and walk away11:50 AM Oct 27th from web
  8. Wants to carve more pumpkins11:30 AM Oct 26th from web
  9. @mshowalter @michaelianblack I remember last time u were in Chicago - I bought tix and then MIB didn't show, date moved and I was out $$ :(9:29 AM Oct 7th from web in reply to mshowalter
  10. http://bit.ly/YwQ7E11:08 AM Oct 6th from web
  11. I cannot even begin to understand why celebs are calling for the release of Roman Polanski. What the hell is wrong with you people?11:56 AM Sep 30th from web
  12. RT @drewtoothpaste Told Speedway guy wallet's too small for Speedy card. He said, "I tattooed mine," ran his arm over the laser n said BOOP.3:42 PM Sep 25th from web
  13. Loved House this week. So nice to see some new character development and plot lines outside of the formulaic "sick guy, diagnose, save"8:13 AM Sep 24th from web
  14. The boyfriend sent me flowers at work yesterday. It's almost as though he likes me or something.7:46 AM Sep 9th from web
  15. @Haley312 It's not the master cleanse...just a general fiber cleanse and detox. Still potentially terrifying.9:38 AM Sep 4th from web in reply to Haley312
  16. Cleanse Day 1 - not as bad as I thought it would be. No explosions...yet.8:06 AM Sep 4th from web
  17. @birbigs Know who else tried to socialize social networking? Hitler. Think about it.2:51 PM Sep 3rd from web in reply to birbigs
  18. @Haley312 who is playing? I might go to a scooter rally - but Metro could be cool.2:47 PM Sep 3rd from web in reply to Haley312
  19. @drewtoothpaste http://bit.ly/mWLIw sweeet1:10 PM Sep 3rd from web in reply to drewtoothpaste
  20. Hilarious http://bit.ly/KoK6x12:08 PM Sep 3rd from web