SarcDog
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@ Once I tried to pass a fire hydrant. Couldn't do it.
1:00 PM Jun 1st
via web
in reply to Skaggins
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Q: "What made u decide 2make a mess right there??? What?? What???" A: It was a process of elimination.
3:19 PM May 31st
via Mobile Web
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Biffy told me her owner passed a kidney stone. I said, "Not impressed. Once when I was with The Idiot he passed an Amish buggy."
8:32 AM May 31st
via web
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Note to self: If you don't want The Idiot to know you've been digging in the backyard, lick off nose before coming indoors.
1:28 PM May 29th
via web
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The Idiot's mom: "Did the peloton go by yet?" The Idiot: "I wouldn't know--can't see a thing for all these guys on bikes!"
10:34 AM May 28th
via web
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The Idiot has no idea what I do while he's gone.
Sent from my iPaw.
7:23 PM May 26th
via Mobile Web
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The Idiot kept complaining abt "the dog smell" in the house; gave me a bath. My revenge: then he had to put up w/ "the wet dog smell."
8:01 AM May 24th
via web
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@ If, indeed, that tweet made u ROTFL, one thing is eminently clear: u are a Loser who needs to Get A Life. @
7:50 PM May 22nd
via Mobile Web
in reply to herrmannfan
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I sure do get sick and tired of being right all the time. Oh, wait. No I don't.
7:24 PM May 22nd
via Mobile Web
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Biffy and I have been playing while our ppl are at work. But we're not very good, lacking opposable thumbs and all.
6:17 PM May 22nd
via Mobile Web
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Saw an ad today for wooden dog crates. Now really. Who needs crates for wooden dogs? Sheesh.
6:26 PM May 21st
via Mobile Web
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Me: ugh! Zoey made a mess on the porch! where will she go next?!
Zoey: ROOF!
8:03 PM May 18th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I put a bumper sticker on The Idiot's car that says 26.2. No, he didn't run a . That's his IQ.
1:09 PM May 17th
via web
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney. AND better at sarcasm!
11:18 AM May 17th
via web
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@ Hey, kudos to you! Um, you have an unnecessary apostrophe in your description, tho. It's its not it's.
11:17 AM May 17th
via web
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I have to admit it. I'll do just about anything for a doggie treat. I know I'm weak. Forgive me. Had to confess.
7:16 PM May 11th
via web
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Note to The Idiot: Trim my nails. When I hit the hardwood I'm startin to feel like .
10:08 AM May 8th
via web
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"No no! Bad dog, bad dog!" OK, your first mistake is assuming that I, like, "care."
7:27 AM May 7th
via web
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Wait a minute! "Stinky" is in the nose of the beholder! "Eau de Pew! Help for your stinky dog" (Thanks, @)
6:06 AM May 7th
via web
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The other day a told me her owner is a medium. I told her not to judge people by their size.
8:35 AM May 3rd
via web
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- Name Sarcastic Dog Tweets
- Location USA
- Bio I’m sarcastic. I’m a dog. I tweet. It’s not rocket science. Follow me.
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