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SaraJBenincasa

I'm staying off Twitter until Wednesday evening. Seriously. Not kidding. Facebook, too. I just threw down a promise, citizens.about 10 hours ago from web
@AmyHarber TOTES! Just don't set anything on fire or use my vibrator.about 10 hours ago from web in reply to AmyHarber
@plitter Sufjan does love Jesus. Is he married? Does he love gays and stuff? Is he like one of those totally peaceful nice Christians?about 10 hours ago from web in reply to plitter
@XtineMB Thank you! I still gotta get to the museum display and take photos for you!about 10 hours ago from web in reply to XtineMB
@pftompkins Chace Crawford of "Gossip Girl" just moved into our neighborhood. This means we can double date with you and @janiehaddad.about 10 hours ago from web
It's so cute that Chace Crawford and I both chose singleton pads in the FiDi to nurse our postbreakup wounds.about 10 hours ago from web
BREAKING NEWS: Chace Crawford lives a block away from me. i will compete with him for best hair in the neighborhood.about 10 hours ago from web
RT @mashable Mashable is hiring experienced bloggers. Previous job at top 100 blog essential. Apply here: http://mashable.com/hiring/about 10 hours ago from web
Breaking: Chace Crawford just moved to my neighborhood. Panties melting as we speak.about 10 hours ago from web
I may actually have 1999's Internet.about 10 hours ago from web
@JonahBH That is really insightful. Thank you.about 11 hours ago from web in reply to JonahBH
@Unioncomic Wait, is that a reference to Ron White or to my ex-boyfriend?about 11 hours ago from web in reply to Unioncomic
It's probably weird that I like my ex as much as I do, but it's his fault for being awesome. What a jerk.about 11 hours ago from web
Sufjan feels me: http://bit.ly/42GCHabout 11 hours ago from web
@charles_star I think either Jeff Foxworthy or Larry the Cable Guy was a fan and took him on tour. He tells an adorable story about it.about 11 hours ago from web in reply to charles_star
HE'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK, FOLKS! RT@RobGeorge If lovin' you is wrong, I don't wanna be White!about 11 hours ago from web
My feelings for Ron White are very pure, unlike those of @amywatts. I just want to open for him on a tour with a folksy name, for the whitesabout 11 hours ago from web
RT @amywatts OMG, I have such a crush on Ron White. It feels so wrong and so right all at the same time.about 11 hours ago from web
@AlexParker September 19th! Details TBA! You and me and FRIENDSHIIIIIP!about 11 hours ago from web in reply to AlexParker
Is Ron White on Twitter? He's my favorite male comic. Don't think I don't listen to the fucking Blue Collar tour album on the regular. Love.about 11 hours ago from web