Sanitaryum
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You wouldn't believe how many times Da Vinci had to paint the Mona Lisa before he got one where she wasn't blinking - Michelangelo's diary
13 minutes ago
via web
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I think the only way I'll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I'm in prison.
14 minutes ago
via web
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Sleeping in could easily be my superpower if not for my much more powerful arch-nemesis, Having to Pee.
15 minutes ago
via web
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Next time you see your therapist, see how deep into the session you can go by only saying lyrics from @ songs.
20 minutes ago
via web
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If you buy organic and don't tell someone about it, is it still organic?
25 minutes ago
via HootSuite
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After u die u do the same life again on a higher difficulty setting. More relationships fail and more loved ones die. Certain dogs explode.
about 8 hours ago
via HootSuite
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Love is a decision. I have decided not to smother my husband with his pillow. Our love will live another day.
2:45 AM Jun 3rd
via HootSuite
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Pretty sure the only reason we keep pay phones around are so movie villains can give the main protagonist their next set of instructions
9:05 AM Jun 2nd
via HootSuite
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Sorry we fought. I hate it when you're wrong. @
1:49 PM Jun 1st
via web
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A woman's work is never done. Which is probably why they don't make as much.
1:41 PM Jun 1st
via web
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Actions do not speak louder than words when you're beating a mime with a baseball bat.
1:41 PM Jun 1st
via web
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A lot of good conversations are ruined by some idiot that actually knows what he's talking about
1:40 PM Jun 1st
via web
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3.14% of sailors are Pi rates.
1:39 PM Jun 1st
via web
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Conan O'Brien used to have dark hair. Then he met me.
10:00 PM May 8th
via web
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I taught @ how to use Excel.
10:01 PM May 8th
via web
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If you don't know what "forceps" are, just say "forceps" in a serious voice and someone will hand them to you.
7:10 AM May 24th
via TweetDeck
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I don't want to alarm anyone but BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!
12:31 PM Jun 1st
via web
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Instead of yelling, I just say "Caps Lock" and then speak at a normal volume.
12:30 PM Jun 1st
via web
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Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, "To my sandwich!"
7:05 AM Jun 1st
via HootSuite
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You know things must've gotten serious when you see a gold hoop earring laying in the Walmart parking lot.
4:40 AM Jun 1st
via HootSuite
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- Name Sanitary Funny Pics
- Location We on that Twitter
- Web http://www.sanita...
- Bio Sanitaryum promotes & aggregates Funny Clean Humor. If laughter is the best medicine, consider us your doctor. Or pharmacist. We have no formal training.
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