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SamanthaDascher

Just saw Snow White and the Huntsman. Snow White literally brings ALL the boys to her yard #BadAssBitch #SluttyQueen #NewRoleModel? LOVE her about 18 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
@jacobsonc I can top you...I just did Benihana take out - for a party of myself. #fat #sorryimnotsorry 5:41 PM Jun 2nd via Twitter for iPhone in reply to jacobsonc
@jacobsonc ahhh scary! Lmk how it is. Im thinking it's a daylight movie. 8:26 PM Jun 1st via Twitter for iPhone in reply to jacobsonc
Moral of the story out of an amazing lunch with my client - It is better to be puked on than pooped on! #WordsToLiveBy #ImJustSaying 12:24 PM Jun 1st via web
@kiastora Hahahaha. In septuagenarian lingo I suppose! 7:41 AM May 31st via web in reply to kiastora
@alecbaldwin schmucks 8:40 AM May 30th via web in reply to alecbaldwin
@InReeseWeTrust Dont get me started. When I overheard this I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So I cried from laughing...win/win 7:44 AM May 30th via web in reply to InReeseWeTrust
@InReeseWeTrust OLD MEN. UrbanDictionary: "strong/well built males, beautiful/curvaceous women or "levels of quality better than necessary" 7:35 AM May 30th via web in reply to InReeseWeTrust
I overheard someone tell my father I was "built like a brick shithouse". Apparently, this is a compliment...Shitty compliment if you ask me. 7:28 AM May 30th via web
Fuck you 7am Pile Drivers. Karma's going to bite you in the ass for waking me up every day. #2GoldProblems 7:25 AM May 30th via web
Wearing flat shoes that are uncomfortable is as absurd/unfair as getting fat from eating salad. Might as well go for the stilettos/chocolate 7:42 AM May 29th via web
So sad to be ending mini vacay. On the bus back to this city - obvi sat in the front row so no one could fart on me this time #liveandlearn 10:40 AM May 28th via Twitter for iPhone
@calliesilver @thenatster94 @astoldbyfotter1 SO silly! Very sad I didn't get to say bye. Miss & love you all #turtleneck #lilsis #crownline 7:11 AM May 28th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to calliesilver
@jacobsonc We were at Borgata for dinner but didn't see him. BUTTT Beyonce, JayZ, Kim K & Kanye will be at the same club with us tmrw. #BOOM 9:39 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to jacobsonc
@thenatster94 @calliesilver @astoldbyfotter1 you guys just missed a massive Denz and Murr car dance party. 9:34 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to thenatster94
Jazzy jagger, D's Nutz and Swagger Nation. 99 problems but JayZ, Beyonce, Kim K and Kanye being here ain't one of them #ACbabes 9:33 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone
I am currently on a bus that should have arrived over an hour ago and the person in front of me keeps farting. I want to die, kill me now. 1:44 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone
You can find out more about a person in an hour of play than a year of conversation -Plato 1:40 PM May 23rd via web
SO excited to attend the @TheWebbyAwards tonight w/ @JackMyerscom!! Too bad we'll need a snorkle mark & flippers to get there #DIGIDrenched 8:04 AM May 21st via web
Diet Coke, Breakfast of Champions. 8:04 AM May 18th via web