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Thought just remembered from last night: the best part of a small bathroom is being able to lean on the wall while peeing...5:50 PM May 26thvia Twitter for iPhone
"Olive Garden: When you're here, you're family." Hey, Olive Garden - my family never charges me for a meal!3:10 PM May 17thvia Twitter for iPhone
Remember back when if you wanted to make a phone call in public you closed yourself in a little room so as to not disturb people?12:50 PM May 17thvia Twitter for iPhone
If a dude is a player who's also into canning fruit, when he's done with a lady he could leave her a "Wham, Bam, Thank You Jam" #pb&j3:12 PM May 14thvia Twitter for iPhone