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"That's the closest I am ever going to get to a circle jerk." ~Dave, after hearing how the Christmas Party gift exchange works.about 19 hours agofrom Tweetie
Me to Lizzy as she tries to fart: "Stop that! If you poop on the floor, I'm not picking it up." Liz: "Mom. That is not being a good helper."4:21 PM Nov 23rdfrom Tweetie
Root beer floats for everyone! [If you are in my house right now.]1:16 PM Nov 23rdfrom Tweetie
Ironic that my first mammogram would show 2 masses in the same week that a report said they're not needed for women in their 40s. #boobies9:44 AM Nov 20thfrom Tweetie
Dinosaur only runs out of mint when @splum6 wants a mojito. We're gonna try the bartender special - Dog on a Cheerleader's Ass.8:26 AM Nov 19thfrom Tweetie