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RorynotRoy

  1. “I was just taking it out for some air!” I pleaded to my fleeing brother, this one time, after he had walked in on me masturbating. about 10 hours ago via web
  2. I don't like differentiating between friends and best friends. I mean, they're all just video games, anyway. about 12 hours ago via web
  3. Recently found this genius: @erica_rosie so follow her, so we can dm about how she's always hilarious. #FF about 22 hours ago via web
  4. @LouisPeitzman I legit would do this in a heartbeat, if I were in L.A. You could teach me about PILLS! about 22 hours ago via web in reply to LouisPeitzman
  5. I hope my updated Craigslist response: "M/28 lives for drama and won't be a part of any chore wheels," gets me a place by next month. about 22 hours ago via web
  6. In his unlit room, he saw the text reply: "Cool, see you there!" He sighed deeply, for it had been confirmed that he would have to go out. about 23 hours ago via web
  7. don't come a knockin' when i'm sextin srsly i need 2 focus i'm on my 3rd paragraph bout 69ing this girl & i haven't even touched myself yet 1:38 PM Jun 1st via Twitter for Windows Phone
  8. Just did the "what's up" head nod to a blind guy, quickly realized my mistake and apologized as I hurried past him nbd. 12:58 PM Jun 1st via Twitter for Windows Phone
  9. i'm going to find the person that keeps selling hal sparks all those tight leather bracelets and put and end to all this madness 10:11 AM Jun 1st via web
  10. Washing my genitals is the chorus of my showers. 7:48 AM Jun 1st via web
  11. In need of a dentist that works for credit card recipts and fast food punch cards. 7:15 AM Jun 1st via web
  12. If I ever describe anything you tell me as "crazy," it's really not, I just want out of your conversation prison. 10:21 PM May 31st via web
  13. Oh, you like seafood? Here, take my card. *cat lets business card fall to the ground, walks away and meows for me to open the door* 9:46 PM May 31st via web
  14. People who steal from other people are like modern day Robin Hoods, but for themselves and I can appreciate that. 9:33 PM May 31st via web
  15. @Molly_Kats *last action before asphyxiation: super enthusiastic thumbs up* 9:22 PM May 31st via web
  16. @Molly_Kats what on earth did you think of to get so muiuhfiueuiqwfybqwfhu *drowns in Molly drool* 9:19 PM May 31st via web in reply to Molly_Kats