RexHuppke
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I've been trying for an hour to get my magic mouse to scroll my couch into the kitchen for a snack. This thing's worthless.
about 8 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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BREAKING NEWS: I think I have a chest cold. Phlegm at 11.
3:29 PM Nov 14th
from web
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He whispered, "I have to work," even though it was Saturday. She didn't wake. His friends were right. Hamsters make terrible companions.
7:04 AM Nov 14th
from TwitterBerry
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Remember kids, funny folk die without those yummy gold stars to the right of the tweet. Register at @ or @. Click. Save a clown.
4:28 PM Nov 13th
from web
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When I was a kid I used to go in the yard at night, hook up the hose and squirt water at the moon. Didn't realize I'd hit it.
2:52 PM Nov 13th
from web
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I pretend people I hate have H1N1 then I squirt Purell at them. Fortunately, the law has yet to catch up to this pandemic.
1:47 PM Nov 13th
from web
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@ Dude. You're a Tri-Leg-head, too? Sweet. Let's hook up for the 2011 TLF fest in Akron. I'll bring the book of canid jokes.
1:21 PM Nov 13th
from web
in reply to brianbolter
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@ Congratulations. It's a smurf.
12:13 PM Nov 13th
from web
in reply to sucittaM
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First I was afraid, I was petrified would be a pretty funny line to use if you were a tree.
11:59 AM Nov 13th
from web
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All funnier than Palin's new book: @ @ @ @ @ @ @
11:52 AM Nov 13th
from web
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Colorado is now known for both mountains and @. I prefer the latter, as it has fewer wild goats on it.
11:48 AM Nov 13th
from web
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Don't know where @ has been all my life, but dude makes good funny. And as everyone knows, good funny is good.
11:44 AM Nov 13th
from web
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All I know is @ is better at being angry, old and a coot than anyone else I know.
11:42 AM Nov 13th
from web
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I don't quite remember what life was like before I started following @, but I'm pretty sure it was just awful.
11:35 AM Nov 13th
from web
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I keep throwing stars at @ but he keeps swatting them away with his enormous hands. He's quite agile.
11:33 AM Nov 13th
from web
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This morning has had the comedic subtlety of a circa-1995 Adam Sandler movie.
8:59 AM Nov 13th
from web
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"YOU can't believe it's not butter. But I CHOOSE to not believe it's not butter."
Never grocery shop with a philosopher.
7:53 PM Nov 12th
from TwitterBerry
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@ Hah! Sadly, no such phrase has ever been uttered in my direction. Hopefully not in Larry's either.
3:54 PM Nov 12th
from TwitterBerry
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OK, that last tweet proves I'm a moron. It's just that any time I hear "King" I immediately think Larry. It's a burden.
3:29 PM Nov 12th
from web
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I like your "Fresh Hot Coffee" sign cause the coffee's neither hot nor fresh, may not even be coffee, and I LOVE irony and punching people.
1:24 PM Nov 12th
from web
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- Name Rex Huppke
- Location Chicago
- Bio A guy who writes stuff for money. Huge fan of hypocrisy. And shepherding. The kind with sheep, not the religious kind.
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