Real_Statham
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i let nan cut my barnet.. she made a pigs fackin ear of it too.. need a pair of knickers for my dome now.. cus i look a proper fackin c**t !
10:45 AM Nov 30th
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me & nan are eating crumpets.. locked to Immerse sessions with Kidkut and ThinKing fackin Live on sub.FM:
10:40 AM Nov 30th
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yours truly's been a busy fackin bee.. no Paris-Brest for the wicked.. not seen nan since the weekend.. she didn't wanna fly out with me..
4:01 AM Nov 26th
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sunday TV is a blessing chaps.. simply plant grandmother into recliner.. add large mug of Ovaltine.. and she's happy as fackin Larry..
11:02 AM Nov 22nd
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nan & Barry ain't talking since her slipper became his fackin elevenses.. course Barry don't talk.. he gives her pure 'stink eye' instead..
3:05 PM Nov 18th
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scored a pair of replacement fackin slippers for nan.. rang Aunty Nora for advice.. "remember she hates pink with a vengeance love.."
2:59 PM Nov 18th
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@ elisha.. elisha.. wherefore art thou elisha.. deny thy Jase & refuse thy bosom.. or if thou wilt not, be but fackin sworn etc..
2:53 PM Nov 18th
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although in my adult life, the bush usually wins.. hands down.. ( no pun infackintended )
12:15 PM Nov 17th
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a bird in the hand is worth two in the fackin bush.. a golden oldie my nan taught me as a nipper..
12:10 PM Nov 17th
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can't seem to get my arse into fackin gear this morning..
4:40 AM Nov 17th
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for crying out loud.. these 'drive by' follower types giving it large.. Barry ain't a dog chaps.. he's a fackin Iguana..
6:27 PM Nov 16th
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if nan wakes up.. i'll throw a hot toddy down her gregory.. easy on the hot.. heavy on the fackin toddy.. she won't notice her bare foot..
5:52 PM Nov 16th
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RT@aussiebythebay @ can i be Barry and you be nan's slipper ? - aha no laughing matter young lady.. my guts are fackin garters..
5:45 PM Nov 16th
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@ no bother.. but Twatter's a social fackin network.. not a one man show.. you miss out on infinitely more amusing bollocks..
5:40 PM Nov 16th
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bloody hell.. Barry's half inched one of nan's slippers.. can kiss that goodbye.. he'll shred it.. like he shredded my fackin Reeboks..
5:37 PM Nov 16th
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@ do you ever get the urge to follow anyone else.. other than me ?.. it's quite disconfackincerting to be honest sunshine ;-)
5:31 PM Nov 16th
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RT @ isn't it an old wives' tale that your marriage will be blessed if you get crap on your dress???? - what ?! glaswegian crap ?!
5:28 PM Nov 16th
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now she's sound asleep in the fackin gazebo.. half a dozen G&T's out for the count.. shouted something about the price of pork and crashed..
5:23 PM Nov 16th
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anyway Estefan's yoga guru managed to lose nan somewhere between the cocktails and the fackin raffle.. had to send a motor for her.. bless..
5:18 PM Nov 16th
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she has an aversion to heavy weaponry.. as it seems do most grandmothers..
5:16 PM Nov 16th
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- Name Jason fackin Statham
- Location Los Angeles, Kent
- Bio The adventures of Jason fackin Statham & his grandmother... NEW on Twitter.. this shit ain't kosher.. stroll on.. i'm just having a Steffi fackin Graf chaps ;-)
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