Real_Statham
- reading a Winston fackin Churchill bio.. poor old sod was more eccentric than my nan.. she remembers hearing him on the fackin wireless..about 1 hour ago from web
- ahhh peace at last.. packed nan off to play bridge for a few hours with Angela Lansbury & her moldovian fackin poodle stylist..12:10 PM Nov 9th from web
- nan looks well different without her barnet.. from Babs Windsor to Germaine fackin Greer in the tip of a cheap syrup.. bless her..11:40 AM Nov 9th from web
- feel bad.. nan just brought me her trademark trifle as a peace offering.. least that explains where my triple fackin sec liqueur went..11:28 AM Nov 9th from web
- in the fackin gazebo on my laptop.. me & nan ain't been talking much.. since Thora Hird's biography blocked the fackin hot tub filter..11:02 AM Nov 9th from web
- nothing like being with someone who changed your shit filled nappies to keep you fackin grounded..10:39 AM Nov 9th from web
- grandmothers flight - $900.. grandmother showing your agent photos of you in your birthday suit at Butlins as a toddler - fackin priceless..10:35 AM Nov 9th from web
- nan's partial to Beefeater Gin.. i often remind her that Gin is a depressant.. her stock reply.."i'll depress YOU in a minute young man.."10:27 AM Nov 9th from web
- stairlift ?.. gave her an ensuite on the ground floor.. but she's still up & down the apples & pears pilfering booze from the snooker room..10:13 AM Nov 9th from web
- found a half sucked Werthers Original stuck to my latest script..10:04 AM Nov 9th from web
- i swear chaps.. you could catapult a man into space with one of her fackin girdles.. just getting nan into the car is right fackin polava..9:55 AM Nov 9th from web
- "do they have a Marks & Spencer here love ?" . . unlimited budget, top designers, personal fackin shoppers.. and nan wants value knitwear..9:48 AM Nov 9th from web
- took nan down Rodeo Drive yesterday.. and all she could talk about was the fackin palm trees & how we don't have them in fackin Sydenham..9:35 AM Nov 9th from web
- show nan the Audi ad ?!.. nah my nan's old skool.. she ain't proud i'm pluggin kraut motors.. she remembers the fackin blitz & rationing..9:19 AM Nov 9th from web
- trying to get my nan into dubstep.. is like trying to get Anne Widdecombe into a fackin wetsuit..9:00 AM Nov 9th from web
- apparently nan likes "that nice Alan Davies boy".. i spat a chip.. "he's very clever" she says.. Tezza has some fackin toyboy competition..8:57 AM Nov 9th from web
- @ not a fackin peep from you since i sold you & westwood that dodgy tom foolery down Covent Garden .. her indoors appreciative ?7:52 AM Nov 9th from web in reply to alandavies1
- RT @ @ I'd only worry if you wake up and gran's scantily clad in the kitchen making Sir Wogan vindaloo..7:45 AM Nov 9th from web
- RT @ @ Nan and Naan for Naan bread Jase 4 the ruby lol - mmm that's why i used the word dysfackinlexic my old china..7:37 AM Nov 9th from web
- i say gran.. i actually call her nan.. trouble with that is.. numpty dyslexic ruby fanatics associate nan's with vindafackinloo's..6:29 AM Nov 9th from web
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- Name Jason fackin Statham
- Location Los Angeles, Kent
- Bio The adventures of Jason fackin Statham & his grandmother... NEW on Twitter.. this shit ain't kosher.. stroll on.. i'm just having a Steffi fackin Graf chaps ;-)
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