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RealGilbert

  1. youtube.com/watch?v=ELNh23…
  2. In Vegas. Did @PennSunday School Podcast. Asked when it airs. @PennJillette said, "I'll put it in the can." That's what they say in prison.
  3. What did the Dentist tell in court? The tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth. I apologize to Dentists and teeth.
  4. Come see me at the Las Vegas Riviera Hotel tomorrow night - Sunday night (5/30-6/3). gilbertgottfried.com/schedule.php
  5. @GuyMacPherson Even worse, I had to give 10% of it to my agent!
  6. Why did the two magazines get a divorce? They had too many issues.
  7. What do you wear while jogging naked in cold weather? RT @Bboutwell79 #Punchline is: tube cocks
  8. How do you kill Walmart Vampires? RT @AdamEyeblink #Punchline is: WalMart Steaks
  9. @DavidFaustino Get my apron ready. I'll be right over.
  10. Okay, sorry if I didn't get to your #Punchline. There was just an overload. I'm going to sleep. Thank you one and all.
  11. My worst pickup line is... RT @PhonyPhoneCall #punchline. Hi I'm Gilbert and I just shit my pants
  12. 3 fags r in a hot tub. Blob of semen floats to the top. RT @ericcartman1122 #Punchline is: One of the gay guys says, “Ok, who farted!?”
  13. Why is a fat girl like a moped? RT @CharlesDiAngelo A Moped! fun to ride till a friend see's you on one! #Punchline
  14. What's the reason God buys condoms? RT @_SirRaleigh_ #punchline ...the coming of the lord.
  15. What do you call a Spanish girl with no legs? RT @mdleslie #Punchline is: " Consuelo"
  16. Who should you never go to for facial surgery? RT @VeryStonemanEsq #punchline Dr. Cock