Rayke
- Sorry for my lack of tweets and/or podcasts. I'll be back at it soon enough. Promise! <3rayke.about 17 hours ago from web
- I feel like your early twenties are a discovery period.
Example: I just discovered that I can piss at a urinal using *no* hands.about 19 hours ago from web
- Most people think I was born Jewish. But the truth is, I only converted after Santa put the restraining order on me.10:10 AM Jul 18th from web
- I'm so drunk my beach ball won't stop spinning.1:14 AM Jul 18th from web
- New pickup line: "For every blowjob I recieve tonight, I will purchase one (1) bottle of Ethos Water. Do it for the poor African kids."10:26 AM Jul 17th from web
- Why do all these burrito places even sell Mexican beer if you're not allowed to get it "to go"?1:20 PM Jul 16th from Tweetie
- NEW GAME SHOW IDEA: "Wheel Abortion"!
Lionel Ritchie vs. Sarah Palin.
Whoever loses has to have their kids put down.
*Everybody* wins!10:20 AM Jul 16th from web
- Psh. I've been calling my penis "Willis Tower" for like 15 years. I'm pretty sure there's a lawsuit to be had somewhere in here.9:51 AM Jul 16th from web
- PROTIP: The differences between a "wetnap" and a "wet nap" are alarmingly frightening.10:37 AM Jul 15th from Tweetie
- HOLYSHIT! Has it really been a whole year since I "met" a majority of you magnificent bastards? - http://twitter.com/Rayke/st...8:41 AM Jul 15th from web
- Saw two ridiculously old people making out at Quizno's.
PDAARP.1:17 PM Jul 14th from Birdhouse
- I AM SO KICKING ASS ON JEOPARDY (Kids Week) RIGHT NOW!2:05 PM Jul 13th from Birdhouse
- Cute girl at Starbucks is deaf. But I'm pretty sure she knows exactly what I mean when pour coffee down my pants. Yeah, baby.
(Call 911)11:30 AM Jul 13th from web
- @jakecharles - That's a threesome I can get behind. Literally and figuratively. But mostly literally.9:45 AM Jul 13th from web
- So apparently it's illegal to ask the 14-year-old snowcone girl for "extra vodka". Our date for next weekend is totally off.10:44 AM Jul 12th from web
- New hipster supergroup: Peter, Bjork, and Bon (Iver)5:03 PM Jul 11th from web
- "Spermicidal lube" sounds more like a problem than a solution...2:33 PM Jul 11th from Tweetie
- OMG YOU GUYS. I JUST SAW THE GHOST OF MICHAEL JACKSON!
...
Wait. Nope. Nevermind. Just a KKK member touching a 5-year-old. Nothing to see.1:00 PM Jul 11th from web
- It's amazing that all of Michael J Fox's kids have survived, with shaken baby syndrome and all.12:22 AM Jul 11th from web
- @nevafeva - Anything with at least half a vagina is a 'lady' in my book.12:17 AM Jul 11th from web
|
- Name Ryan Drake
- Location Oklahoma City
- Web http://www.curbch...
- Bio - Student, brother, heroin junkie, S+M Freak, mescaline addict.
|
