RapierTwit
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Wondering if this is now Buyer's Remorse Wednesday
about 5 hours ago
from web
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I'll tell you what Black Friday is. I went to the mall, they were out of what I wanted, they ordered it from a kiosk web connection.
2:31 PM Nov 27th
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I looked it up. ROFLMAO isn't in the Scrabble dictionary.
5:44 AM Nov 21st
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I was kidnapped recently, and my friends jumped into action. They fought over my stuff.
4:26 PM Nov 19th
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wondering if pickpockets are Law of Distraction marketing artists
4:22 AM Aug 28th
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Wondering why they report power outages on TV
1:22 PM Aug 14th
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Good news: girls get out of North Korea. Bad news: Bill C's on the plane home and looking for a cigar.
3:11 PM Aug 7th
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wondering how Teflon sticks to the pan
12:43 PM Jul 29th
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Want THOUSANDS of followers? Just buy my SECRETS of Twitter and SEX!
4:02 PM Jun 25th
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wondering how to get rid of a guy. Febreze isn't working.
5:04 PM Jun 17th
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appreciating the new Twitter Verified accounts; otherwise I wouldn't have known if it was the REAL Britney $&#*## Vids
2:49 PM Jun 14th
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It's reported that cell phones could kill more people than cigarettes. It's why I don't smoke them.
10:38 AM Jun 13th
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Wondering if the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits the windshield is its butt...
8:13 PM Jun 11th
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Present and accounted for, but only from the neck down
7:00 PM May 11th
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Kiefer Sutherland's "victim" - headbutted or buttheaded?
5:02 PM May 6th
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Canceled my trip to the high school down the street because somebody's sick. Booked a trip to Cancun.
8:18 AM May 5th
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Celebrating Quatro de Mayo, the official "o, caca, no quiero hablar francés" day
9:39 AM May 4th
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Wondering why we use big words when diminutive ones will suffice
9:24 AM Apr 29th
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Planning a seminar on time travel for two weeks ago.
5:54 AM Apr 26th
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Afraid my suicidal twin will kill me by mistake
6:40 PM Apr 25th
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- Name Chance H
- Location St Armel des Boschaux
- Bio I lurk in shadows, I tweet one liners, I protect corporate hobbits from boredom
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