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REMin140

  1. Was babysitting @tweedyson and Sammy came down with chicken pox. I worried I would catch it again.
  2. Term "cherry on top" was replaced by "it's like the puddin in the puddin part of the wedding cake!" Robt Plant encouraged me to climb a mtn
  3. I had a 7 inch waist. It was weird. A tabloid cover said "Kate Moss autopsy pix inside!" There was no such thing, though.
  4. Industry party with Kevin Federline! Pam Anderson! Marilyn Manson sans makeup! Seth Green! Ian McCulloch! K-fed asked me for a job.
  5. New Yorker printed poem written by @semitext who used the pseudonym Vivian Ponderoo.
  6. Actress Marlene Jobert taught a chocolate chip cookie making class. She suggested warming up the chips before adding them to the dough.
  7. Labyrinthine antique store with creepy old caretaker. Broke stained glass w/ mom then found documents that said creep was 1000 years old.
  8. Exotic bird store in Japan. Tried to free a plucked penguin from his cage but he wrapped around my arm like a snake; bit me with razor beak
  9. Clearing in the woods with a clear shallow lake, professional basketball players were swimming there. "We're God's little Amazons" said one.
  10. K set a dumpster on fire in my kitchen, then killed his little sister on the couch and sat next to her body for a very long time.
  11. Outside a party, a pregnant woman is passed overhead, simultaneously crowd-surfing and giving birth.
  12. Wildflowers that dropped white petals when you picked them. Under the brush, lots of dirty forgotten frisbees. Carried JS to safety
  13. Touring a new gym. Instead of treadmills, one long winding moving walkway with people running in line. Tripped on one.
  14. End times. Hiding out in jewelry store that was robbed while I slept. Lost wallet, filling suitcases with underwear. Broken cell phone.
  15. Xmas party @ebertchicago 's house. He told a story about a cabbie offering to pray for him. He had 2 fat cats and served cocktail weenies
  16. deep talk w/ @sheriffpeanut, she told me she always hated me, my voice was annoying, and she sent a recording to a linguist who confirmed it
  17. Something about a Shamwow.
  18. Class trip to Korea. Cave bathrooms, Scientology classes, treasure hunt for colored glass, chased by a gorilla, hiding in a closet.
  19. Something about men in women's college shower stalls, candles burning down, sequined shredded things in H&M...
  20. Dystopic future: had to pretend to be a robot with wheel feet and glide around in order to not be killed by overlords. R. Kelly was there