QueenLizII
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Perhaps he should pay us 'royalties' for using the idea. Do you get it? 'Royalties'? Oh, but we do amuse ourselves.
10:48 AM Aug 19th
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We are pleased to see Mr Obama has borrowed his "death panels" idea from our Beheading Committee.
10:47 AM Aug 19th
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Do pardon our extended absence from the Twittour. We dropped our iPhone in the loo and had a dickens of a time retrieving it.
9:33 PM Aug 17th
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The weather is so frightfully gorgeous in London today that we think we shall spend the day knickerless.
9:38 AM Apr 20th
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To my readers in the American colonies: You have not paid your tea tax in well over 225 years. We shall not let this offence stand!
10:10 AM Apr 15th
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The royal toilet tissue is made of silk and embossed with gold, and the wiping is performed by ladies-in-waiting. Annual cost: £75 billion.
12:59 PM Apr 14th
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An insight into our private life: While toilets are euphemistically called "thrones" by the lower classes, ours actually is one.
12:59 PM Apr 14th
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Crisis averted! We found an insolent peasant whose head deserved removal. Now we can enjoy the rest of the week-end!
10:35 AM Apr 13th
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Gracious me! Shall the week-end pass in its entirety without a single beheading? We must rectify this at once!
10:35 AM Apr 13th
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The Scandinavians are a beautiful people. Good bone structure, pleasant features, lithe bodies. We wish our subjects were half as lovely.
8:09 PM Apr 9th
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One of the little-known conveniences associated with being the Queen of England is that we have access to some really primo weed.
11:40 PM Apr 6th
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A reigning monarch with less patience than ours would have had Prince Philip beheaded years ago for his flatulence alone.
10:13 PM Apr 5th
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All this "Twilight" fuss has got us hot and bothered, as the befanged, pale-skinned romantic interest reminds us of the Royal Family.
3:28 PM Apr 5th
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Oh dear, what a pickle. The Obamas just left, and now our good silver is missing. That's not a racial thing, it's a missing-silver thing.
9:53 AM Apr 3rd
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Our husband, Prince Philip, is a bit miffed with us, as he has not been permitted to put his arm around us in several decades.
1:14 PM Apr 2nd
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Having said that, let us add that Michelle Obama is a gentle and compassionate lover.
10:18 AM Apr 2nd
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Blimey! Can a Queen not put her arm round another lady without all the media getting its knickers twisted? It's not as if we snogged.
10:18 AM Apr 2nd
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We asked loyal British subject Hugh Jackman for private screening of "Wolverine," and he obliged by posting entire film to Internet. Bravo!
1:10 PM Apr 1st
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We apologize for our absence. The rumour you may have heard that we were in a treatment facility for addiction to crystal meth is true.
5:59 PM Mar 30th
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'Tis the week-end! Fulfilling our royal duties during the week is exhausting for a woman our age (108). Tis time to get our drank on! Holla!
11:50 AM Mar 20th
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- Name Queen Elizabeth II
- Location Buckingham Palace
- Web http://www.royal....
- Bio The royal sovereign honcho of Great Britain.
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