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Portnik

  1. If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  2. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
  3. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
  4. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
  5. award winning anti smoking commercial http://www.youtube.com/watc...
  6. If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
  7. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  8. Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. Stalking is.
  9. "I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do" is the longest sentence?
  10. Killing antismoking commercial http://www.youtube.com/watc...
  11. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  12. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
  13. Man cannot live by bread alone, unless he's locked in a cage and that's all you feed him.
  14. If a man with no arms has a gun, is he armed?
  15. Groovy Taxi commercial http://www.youtube.com/watc...
  16. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  17. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments
  18. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
  19. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
  20. RT @MirelaMonte A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.