PolarBear_
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Look - I know one of you deleted your account. You need to fess up and tell me if it was you.
Oh.... wait. Aww, crap.
about 1 hour ago
from web
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@ You mean you'd like to see "One Dick, Two Dick, Red Dick, Blue Balls" made into a film?
about 3 hours ago
from web
in reply to kolchak
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Happy Birthday to @. (He's one celebrity everyone should be following on Twitter )
about 7 hours ago
from web
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Today the president pardoned a turkey. On Friday, he'll have to pardon his turkey farts.
about 12 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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@ The only time one animal should be stuck inside another is for mating which ironically could create a living, breathing "turduck".
about 12 hours ago
from UberTwitter
in reply to ChiNurse
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@ They have to clear the skank stank periodically.
about 12 hours ago
from UberTwitter
in reply to 1surlygurl
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What a ripoff. This "cream soda" seems to have no cream in it whatsoever. I guess there was no point in freezing it.
about 12 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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When life hands you lemons, squeeze them until the juice runs down your leg.
Led Zeppelin always has a better solution to your problems.
9:14 AM Nov 24th
from txt
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When you are using both your right AND left hands on the computer keyboard at the same time, are you stereotyping?
4:25 AM Nov 24th
from UberTwitter
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"The Equalizer" - Rule #3: All bombs, no matter what they are made of or who constructed them, make faint electronic beeping sounds.
12:59 PM Nov 23rd
from txt
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Wife & I are sick, so we ordered eggs from room service.
The wait staff in this place suck. No wonder restaurants don't hire kids under 10.
10:44 AM Nov 23rd
from txt
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Great. Now the house smells because the wind went down my chimney.
7:34 PM Nov 22nd
from txt
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I had no idea the American Medical Association had a television show and gave out awards.
5:40 PM Nov 22nd
from web
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"The Equalizer" - Rule #2: If you are being chased or chasing someone, the New York City subway is totally free-of-charge.
2:58 PM Nov 22nd
from txt
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@ Are you sure it's not actually a tour of 1980s bands? Let me know if you end up in Kansas, Europe or Asia, or bacon forbid, Alabama.
4:59 AM Nov 22nd
from UberTwitter
in reply to phronq
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Saw the new Star Trek DVD & thought, if I was old Spock I would've said "Nero aside Jim, if you EVER meet a guy named Khan just phaser him."
4:52 AM Nov 22nd
from txt
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My hands got too sweaty playing The Beatles: Rock Band, so I'm taking a break while my guitar gently seeps.
10:08 PM Nov 21st
from txt
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"Zero means none, Daddy!"
"Yup - and whether spelled with an O or a U, it means you aren't gettin' any."
6:55 PM Nov 20th
from txt
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I wonder if people with a sexual watersports fetish enjoy recipes with chick peas?
6:05 PM Nov 20th
from txt
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@ Or maybe life thinks you have a Vitamin C deficiency? Avast, ye scurvy dog!
1:47 PM Nov 20th
from UberTwitter
in reply to GPappalardo
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- Name CokeBear
- Location C-eh n-eh d-eh 1123.6536.5321
- Web http://polar-bear...
- Bio Sarcastic, misanthropic, skeptical photographer & Dad, reviled for sharing what I think & feel. I tweet every stupid thought. FYI: I probably won't follow back.
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