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PixieChaser

  1. Hardly any animal can look as deeply disappointed as a dog to whom one says "no."
  2. Is Mr. Potato Head baked?
  3. If the early bird gets the worm...can I sleep in and get some bacon???
  4. A new phrase for all of you to learn: "Deja moo"... a feeling that you've heard that bullshit before!
  5. The secret to life: breathe in, breathe out, repeat!
  6. Just heard: Shot my first turkey yesterday...scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section...It was awesome!!!
  7. You know it's hot when you go to let the dog out and they give you a look that says, "It's OK- I'll hold it longer".
  8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
  9. Stand your ground... instead of being the ground that other people stand on...
  10. I love doors that read "This door should remain closed and locked at all times." We have enough of those; they're called walls.
  11. Remember: Prison orange is not your color... Prison orange is not your color.. Prison orange is not your color.
  12. Ever think if people combined Twitter, Face book, and You-tube together it would be called, You twit face!
  13. Some people are the flowers in your garden of life. Others are the manure that makes your garden stronger.
  14. "Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back."
  15. Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
  16. Girls, if a guy wants to take you to Hooters on the first date, run far, far away!!
  17. If you're happy and you know it, share your meds!
  18. Sometimes I want to withdraw from humanity and live in a cave, but then I realize I wouldn't have Internet access.
  19. If I'm ever on life support, pull the plug and plug it back in. See if that works.
  20. When i am on my death bed and all my friends and family are there, i want my last words to be."i left a million dollars in the..."