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Pixelation

  1. I'm at the first Duke basketball game of the season and the score is insane to embarrassing.
  2. I need an aspirin. I'm in so much C-Fibers firing.
  3. @ryanjenkins - no no no no, don't phunk with my heart! ... wow... I can feel my brain hurt again.
  4. Chairlift's "Bruises" is probably my favorite song at the moment. This is tweetworthy because... shut up, that's why.
  5. I'm a zeroeth wave feminist. That is, a misogynist.
  6. No mail the past three days. I blame the rain for keeping my mailman from his appointed rounds.
  7. They should make candy corn using real cane sugar instead of this very artificial cornsyrup.
  8. What's the point of a hug where the person still has floating ribs left uncracked?
  9. Does Memory Lane intersect with Sesame Street? I think it does.
  10. Philosophical Zombieland #philosophyhorrormovies
  11. I'm not into role playing, but I can pretend.
  12. I don't like domestic abuse. I prefer mine imported.
  13. I should add "if you didn't want me to" when I say "I would never tell anyone anything you told me." Otherwise, I'm just a bad secretary.
  14. I need to find a way to incorporate eating a gajillion Halloween candies into my calorie tracker.
  15. Next Halloween I'm going to wear a belt and a pair of suspenders. I have determined that.
  16. My understanding halves for every character I find that's not a part of a language I speak. Why aren't there math equations that use an ñ?
  17. My phone sends messages arbitrarily. I just sent "I see u" to a friend I saw walking. I hope she gets it before she goes home to take a bath
  18. My eyes have just been opened by @FakeAPStylebook to the world of people I can mock because they don't have Internet access
  19. Shoot! I only have 180 days left of qualifying under my mother's health insurance! Quick: Someone break my legs!
  20. Man, I loves me some Science: "A Little Fellatio Goes a Long Way" - http://bit.ly/2hxh6b