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PaulyPeligroso

  1. He was voted "Most Likely To Wanna Fuck You Like An Animal." say.ly/SBb3r0M 26 minutes ago via WhoSay
  2. True beauty is on the inside. Where my penis goes. about 2 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  3. Los Angeles: This is my show line-up for this weekend. bit.ly/KyMv3X about 3 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  4. Need an idea for a cool tattoo? Get "Do Not Resuscitate" across your chest. about 4 hours ago via WhoSay
  5. I'll be at @TheComedyStore Saturday at 10 pm in the Belly Room. $15 tix, $10 if you're on the list. Let me know if you want on that list. about 4 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  6. I'll stand in front of a Redbox until a long line accumulates behind me. Then I'll yell "Where's the fucking Pepsi button on this thing?!" about 5 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android
  7. Wearing Sketchers Shape-Ups is a great way to tone your body while losing friends. about 6 hours ago via WhoSay
  8. My erection has great bone structure. about 8 hours ago via WhoSay
  9. Tomorrow, 10pm I'm at the @icehousecc in Pasadena opening for @mattknudsen. If you want free tickets, send an email to cjtix9@gmail.com about 9 hours ago via web
  10. I love a girl with a trimmed bush. It makes it easier to see into her window at night. about 10 hours ago via WhoSay
  11. Ever wake up, and your iPhone smells weird, and you're all like "How the fuck did I get an iPhone?" about 11 hours ago via WhoSay
  12. LOS ANGELES: This Friday at 10pm See me at the @ImprovComedyLA. Want FREE TICKETS? Sign the the guest list here: bit.ly/M7VFGY about 12 hours ago via bitly
  13. I like to imagine that once a year the Wu Tang Clan sees a doctor that runs a series of tests to see if they're still nothing to fuck with. 10:05 PM May 29th via TweetCaster for Android
  14. Thought I was watching a Nat Geo documentary on hyenas in the Serengeti for the last 10 mins. Turns out it was the Real Housewives of OC. 9:37 PM May 29th via TweetCaster for Android
  15. "Happiness Is a Warm Gun" has to be Mark David Chapman's favorite song. 4:40 PM May 29th via web
  16. TSA: The "Second base" Administration 3:00 PM May 29th via WhoSay
  17. Tombstones are Foursquare for dead people. 1:45 PM May 29th via web
  18. Guys, summer is here, but don't throw those skinny jeans in the closet just yet. Turn them into cut-off capri pants! #LiveYourDreams 11:40 PM May 28th via TweetCaster for Android
  19. "Here, we put nachos inside of a tortilla for you to hold. So you can get the runs...ON THE RUN!" - Taco Bell. 10:37 PM May 28th via TweetCaster for Android