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OkeyTokey

  1. I messed with Texas once but I was really drunk. 5:43 PM Dec 30th, 2009 from Tweetie
  2. Someone invent this: a gas pump that doesn't offer me a car wash when it is raining. 5:26 PM Dec 30th, 2009 from Tweetie
  3. I trust Mexican food made by white people about as much as I trust Chinese food made by Mexicans. 5:29 PM Dec 28th, 2009 from Tweetie
  4. The opposite of depression is delusion. 5:28 PM Dec 14th, 2009 from Tweetie
  5. He: I never said you suck the MOST. Me: I think that might be the closest you've ever come to complimenting me. He: It wasn't intentional. 4:39 PM Dec 14th, 2009 from web
  6. Also, nexttime you're driving in the rain, put on Muse's 'Resistance' at full blast. Heavy on the bass, obviously. 4:55 PM Dec 12th, 2009 from Tweetie
  7. Apparently 23 is the age where it's no longer cute to make faces at the kids in other cars. 4:50 PM Dec 12th, 2009 from Tweetie
  8. Watching Batman vs Dracula. How is it possible that two dudes wearing capes haven't caught each other yet? 6:44 PM Dec 11th, 2009 from web
  9. I have to admit that there's a part of me that still wants Transformers for Christmas. 6:16 PM Dec 11th, 2009 from web
  10. Weed has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, which I guess is sometime around lunch. 1:08 AM Dec 11th, 2009 from Tweetie
  11. Listening to trance music in the shower. Idea: glowstick soap. 11:38 AM Nov 30th, 2009 from Tweetie
  12. @joerogandotnet Do those actually work? I keep seeing them at the dispensary but I've never actually bought one. 7:35 PM Nov 29th, 2009 from web in reply to joerogandotnet
  13. When I'm drunk I tend to destroy many things in a short amount of time; When I'm stoned, I like to clean several things for hours on end. 9:34 PM Nov 18th, 2009 from web
  14. Listen, kids: Neck Tattoos can't be covered by a collar. Not even a bright orange, state-issued one. 3:31 AM Nov 15th, 2009 from web
  15. Not tweeting is the new tweeting. Tweeting about not tweeting being the new tweeting still not cool. 9:55 AM Nov 14th, 2009 from Tweetie
  16. Is the word 'bees' an onomatopoeia? 9:04 AM Oct 30th, 2009 from web
  17. The proliferation of smartphones has given the vast majority of people the obviously incorrect appearance of intelligence and competency. 6:00 PM Oct 27th, 2009 from web
  18. The man who invented the pizza cutter obviously never did dishes by hand. Don't even get me started on you, Mr Cheese Grater Inventor. 8:32 PM Oct 22nd, 2009 from Tweetie
  19. If eating ice cream while pooping is wrong then I don't want to be right. 6:09 PM Oct 21st, 2009 from Tweetie
  20. Tangerine beef with shrimp-fried rice.Two delicious animals who never had knowledge of each other's existence have come together in my mouth 8:12 PM Oct 19th, 2009 from Tweetie