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OhJeff

  1. Some days I miss crime scene cleaning... 10:32 AM Mar 8th via web
  2. Oh wait... I'm pretty sure I once ate beef jerky out of the trash... #'Merica 10:53 AM Mar 6th via web
  3. Went to BBQ place for lunch yesterday, on way home stopped and had fried chicken. Most shameful fat thing I've probably ever done. 'Merica! 10:52 AM Mar 6th via web
  4. Rioting over poor conditions? You realize Sim City predicted this like 20 years ago. 10:52 AM Oct 14th, 2011 via web
  5. Also, I'm still naked. 4:18 PM Aug 22nd, 2011 via web
  6. I just got caught acting like a person in a Pringles commercial by my neighbor, i.e. drumming w/ Pringles can, making a chip duckface, etc. 4:17 PM Aug 22nd, 2011 via web
  7. Sometimes, when lying naked in my house on humid afternoons, I have thoughts that I am a God. Also, did I mention that I am drunk? 3:19 PM Aug 22nd, 2011 via web
  8. Kids nerf fight cartoon anime movie (Video) : theCHIVE thechive.com/2011/06/15/the… 12:59 PM Jun 15th, 2011 via Tweet Button
  9. If you murder someone today, stash the body, lay out a pair of their clothes on the lawn, and tell cops that they were the only one taken. 10:18 AM May 22nd, 2011 via web
  10. Ahh, cigars. 12:14 AM May 10th, 2011 via web
  11. Do you think jocks watch "Revenge of the Nerds" like a horror film? 10:38 AM Mar 24th, 2011 via web
  12. A fan wrote me today and mentioned how I looked like John Wayne Gacy on my website (and twitpic). She said she hoped I was harmless. Cough. 11:03 AM Feb 4th, 2011 via web
  13. Wow, since people keep randomly adding me (and dropping me), I feel compelled to post something. 11:01 AM Feb 4th, 2011 via web
  14. Don't solicitors understand that I like sitting around the house in my underwear?! I'm not getting dressed up all fancy for them. 12:37 PM Jan 8th, 2011 via web
  15. Rule for a literary feud #89: No dirty, stinkin' commies are allowed to feud! (This rule was instituted at the height of McCarthyism) 12:35 PM Jan 8th, 2011 via web
  16. Rule for a literary feud: 202: When you are done feuding, you must make it incredibly clear to your opponent by saying, "The End." 11:25 AM Jan 6th, 2011 via web
  17. Rule for a literary feud #43: Anyone caught using hyperbole in their feud shall be cut into a million pieces and fired into the sun. 11:23 AM Jan 6th, 2011 via web
  18. Rule for a literary feud #28: If you can use the lyrics of a Pantera song in your feuding, it counts as a "double burn." 1:43 AM Jan 5th, 2011 via web
  19. Rule for a literary feud #994: Rule #993 is more of a motivational bylaw than an actual rule. Suspend as necessary. 1:36 AM Jan 5th, 2011 via web
  20. Rule for a literary feud #993: There are no rules! 1:34 AM Jan 5th, 2011 via web