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OHnewsroom

  1. Reporter: “There’s a new @HBO show about journalists.” Photo chief: “Are they all sitting at home not having jobs?”
  2. Reporter, to intern asking if he’s overdressed on his first day: “Just don’t look homeless, and you’ll be fine.”
  3. City editor: “I think the wire is constipated today.”
  4. Reporter: “I’m on E. I need to go to the creativity juice gas station.” Editor: “It’s called the liquor store.”
  5. Reporter, eating Cheetos: “Ahh, I feel rejuvenated.”
  6. “TMZ, man. How do they always know? I feel like they’re bugging everybody’s houses.”
  7. Male reporter: “My focus is my package.” Female producer: “I’m sure it is. You’re a dude.”
  8. Editor: “I’m celebrating Mother’s Day. I don’t have children, but I have reporters.”
  9. Cops reporter: “I actually ate lunch today and now I feel all bloated.”
  10. Assistant editor pitching an idea to the editor: “It’s not just shitting out stuff like we do in the blog.”
  11. Social Editor: “I wish new moms would just admit their babies look like Yoda.”
  12. Copy Editor: “If I had feelings, they’d be hurt right now.”
  13. Copy Editor: “Is it weird o’clock already?”
  14. Court reporter to cops reporter: “I’ll get you some court stuff and we can slam it all together. A story omelette.”
  15. Editor: “We have 78 inches of obits in tomorrow’s paper. I don’t think we’re going to have any subscribers left.”
  16. Sports editor, trying to open a bottle: “Does anyone have anything sharp?” Editor in Chief: “Just my wit.”
  17. TV Producer: “I don’t have time to be passive-aggressive any more. I’m just going to go with aggressive.”
  18. Proofreader: “It’s a great story. I would delete the first eight paragraphs and write a lede.”
  19. Photog: “I can’t bring myself to delete this photo of Clooney getting arrested.” Editor: “Clooney. Handcuffs. I can see your problem.”
  20. “I’ve told the IT guy more than once — there are totally legit reasons for looking up pornography.”