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Notactuallyme

  1. @nonlinearDog That's a lovely card, Sadie. Merry Christmas to you and your dad! about 9 hours ago from web in reply to nonlinearDog
  2. But we played ball *yesterday*. Don't you ever get bored with this game? Needy dog. about 11 hours ago from web
  3. @penbleth Snort! 3:19 PM Dec 16th from web in reply to penbleth
  4. @penbleth Thank you! Xmas birthdays suck, so don't get pregnant in March, ok? Don't even have sex in March, just in case. 3:14 PM Dec 16th from web in reply to penbleth
  5. @davislove Thanks, D! 3:11 PM Dec 16th from web in reply to davislove
  6. @badbanana Niiiiiiiice! 7:19 PM Dec 7th from web in reply to badbanana
  7. @LucyKateHopkins YAY! Way to go, sweetie! Your daddy will be chasing you around the house in no time. 6:49 PM Dec 7th from web in reply to LucyKateHopkins
  8. @twitreport Add me to your list, please. 5:03 PM Dec 6th from web in reply to twitreport
  9. The stars are not wanted now: put out every one... (W.H. Auden) Thank you, @textism, for the fun while it lasted. RIP Favrd. 9:06 AM Dec 6th from web
  10. @adtothebone Well, you *will* need something to stanch the bleeding... 7:41 PM Dec 5th from web in reply to adtothebone
  11. "Sorry I'm so retarded about that. I hope you're not disappointed in me." "Honey, I'm not even surprised." 7:29 PM Dec 5th from web
  12. @steelopus Be strong, mi amigo. 6:25 PM Dec 5th from web in reply to steelopus
  13. @Xytrex You put it in de coconut - duh! 6:14 PM Dec 5th from web in reply to Xytrex
  14. @damselesque How does a drunken bathtub dance, exactly? Could you post a video, please? For informational purposes only, of course. 12:43 PM Nov 15th from web in reply to damselesque
  15. @Porto_Rock Not to mention how many tongues have licked the ketchup bottle. Oh, just me? Sorry. 9:48 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to Porto_Rock
  16. @adtothebone Well something certainly is! Could just be the Biore Strips have been stuck on too long & are slowly leaching out my brain. 9:02 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to adtothebone
  17. @Lilykily @adtothebone No, no... nobody's going to want to eat the potatoes after you've fucked them. 8:54 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to Lilykily
  18. @the_dza Oh heavens, that was so wrong of me. I meant a nail gun. 8:49 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to the_dza
  19. @the_dza A staple gun? 8:49 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to the_dza
  20. I'm in the weeds over here! Or would that be "on" the weed... How can you tell? 8:21 PM Nov 13th from web