NotDiceClay
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@ They stole that from my mom!
about 22 hours ago
from web
in reply to EthanSuplee
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*When I grow up, I want to beat an old woman.*
about 22 hours ago
from web
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@ "Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker" Whenever I hear those 2 names in the same sentence, I get that warm feeling, then I puke.
3:36 PM Dec 18th
from web
in reply to JoshMalina
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@ Doesn't the original Vietnamese Christmas song translate roughly to *All I want for Christmas is your ear on my string necklace.*
3:34 PM Dec 18th
from web
in reply to Thaozilla
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@ You don't get to do the cutting, but you'll let a lot of good people down if you don't say, *Umm, you gonna eat that?*
3:30 PM Dec 18th
from web
in reply to Thaozilla
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@ True... but dead hookers, themselves, are timeless, never going out of style, like men's suits from the '30's.
3:29 PM Dec 18th
from web
in reply to Thaozilla
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@ Yes!
7:44 PM Dec 17th
from web
in reply to SandraBernhard
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@ - Judging from the holes, this meat seems to have been violated.
2:56 PM Dec 17th
from TwitPic
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@ They like to keep you waiting, before telling you the *bad* news, that lucky for you, they have the part to fix, for a price.
2:53 PM Dec 17th
from web
in reply to colestratton
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@ Drink plenty of liquor, straight up. It'll kill the nasties lurking in the food.
2:50 PM Dec 17th
from web
in reply to EthanSuplee
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@ Yeah but, if someone is a criminal, insane, or both, at least he has a *good* reason for letting kids sit on his lap in public.
2:47 PM Dec 17th
from web
in reply to marchinko
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@ Then he'd blab to everyone about how you let him in on a little 3-way action every once in a while.
1:29 PM Dec 17th
from web
in reply to ScottAukerman
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@ *How I Meat Your Mother*
9:30 PM Dec 16th
from web
in reply to Borat
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*I smelled her pussy juice all over your fuckin' face! You fuckin' sick bastard! How dare you?* --Summer of Sam
7:33 PM Dec 16th
from web
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RT @ "...Call Congress: 202-559-1161" --*Thanks! That phone number was good for shit!*
3:36 PM Dec 16th
from web
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@ That post made me feel like I'm having a stroke... uh-oh!
3:28 PM Dec 16th
from web
in reply to Braunger
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@ If that was possible, we'd still be draggin' our knuckles on the ground livin' in trees, throwing our own shit at each other.
3:24 PM Dec 16th
from web
in reply to steveagee
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Show of hands... How many guys here *tried* to blow themselves in the bathtub when they were a kid? OK, now how many actually succeeded?
3:21 PM Dec 16th
from web
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RT @: If Obama signs a bill that doesn't include some kind of public option, he's a jockey in a clown hat on the lawn of the in
...
3:27 AM Dec 16th
from web
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@ If you're lucky some other kid will bring his python for *Show 'n OH MY GOD!* tomorrow.
1:31 PM Dec 15th
from web
in reply to EthanSuplee
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- Name Andrew Dice Clay NOT
- Location Who are you Bitch, tha' IRS?
- Web http://www.bushfu...
- Bio I came into this world screaming, and judging from the way things are goin', that's the way I'll be leaving.
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