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NikolHasler

  1. I'd laugh about the noises my poop is making, but laughing makes me puke. PleaseLetMeGetBetter
  2. I can't wait or Friday to get here so I can start making racist jokes.
  3. Aww shit. We have a lady pilot. She better not bleed on things or crash because she sees a sale.
  4. http://sexuality.about.com/...
  5. I think I am done with @NickStarr which is surreal. I haven't unfollowed a nonspammer in a long time. He's an egomaniacal mess.
  6. To clear things up: I admit that it was me who put the bomp in the bomp sha bomp sha bomp. I'm available for handshaking Tues.
  7. Is it a sin to make your girlfriend masturbate? http://www.milwaukeemagazin...
  8. My silk pajama clad son has an empty wine rack in his room for future use. Guess the cycle doesn't end with that kid.
  9. For too long I've accepted the lyrics of Hound Dog. I'm done judging myself based on my ability to catch rabbits. Let the healing begin.
  10. Dammit, dad, I don't need an intervention I need a bloody mary. You know nothing about curing hang overs.
  11. I just found a condom on the ground. It was a beer condom. Because I'm in Wisconsin.
  12. I'm asking my family to donate to http://bit.ly/4GmscI this year in lieu of gifts
  13. Okay kids, if you clean your rooms really well I will let you make dinner and play a board game. (Holy shit. They fell for it. Stupids.)
  14. Ohwow. At the gym here there are inspirational bible quotes. I prefer LA's gyms w inspirational bikini models.
  15. Got really freaked because I thought I found a lump in my bewb. It was a cheeto. So, I won't get insurance paid implants or a wig, but YUM!
  16. How much should you tell your new bf/gf about your past sex life? http://www.milwaukeemagazin...
  17. Well, hey der Milwaukee. It's nice to see you agai- Shit it's cold!
  18. National Geographic is going badass and calling itself Nat Geo. What next? Lifetime rebrands as BitchTits?
  19. Hey everybody! You have to try "just waltzing in" somewhere! People are always saying you can't, but it is amazingly effective.
  20. Just got shouted at by protesters at Planned Parenthood. Nothing funny to say. It was terrifying.