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NikolHasler

  1. I'd laugh about the noises my poop is making, but laughing makes me puke. PleaseLetMeGetBetter about 6 hours ago from txt
  2. I can't wait or Friday to get here so I can start making racist jokes. 12:19 PM Nov 25th from web
  3. Aww shit. We have a lady pilot. She better not bleed on things or crash because she sees a sale. 1:07 PM Nov 23rd from txt
  4. http://sexuality.about.com/... 11:05 PM Nov 22nd from web
  5. I think I am done with @NickStarr which is surreal. I haven't unfollowed a nonspammer in a long time. He's an egomaniacal mess. 10:33 PM Nov 21st from web
  6. To clear things up: I admit that it was me who put the bomp in the bomp sha bomp sha bomp. I'm available for handshaking Tues. 6:39 PM Nov 21st from web
  7. Is it a sin to make your girlfriend masturbate? http://www.milwaukeemagazin... 2:21 PM Nov 21st from web
  8. My silk pajama clad son has an empty wine rack in his room for future use. Guess the cycle doesn't end with that kid. 9:03 PM Nov 20th from txt
  9. For too long I've accepted the lyrics of Hound Dog. I'm done judging myself based on my ability to catch rabbits. Let the healing begin. 10:12 AM Nov 19th from txt
  10. Dammit, dad, I don't need an intervention I need a bloody mary. You know nothing about curing hang overs. 10:04 AM Nov 19th from txt
  11. I just found a condom on the ground. It was a beer condom. Because I'm in Wisconsin. 4:32 PM Nov 18th from txt
  12. I'm asking my family to donate to http://bit.ly/4GmscI this year in lieu of gifts 2:24 PM Nov 16th from web
  13. Okay kids, if you clean your rooms really well I will let you make dinner and play a board game. (Holy shit. They fell for it. Stupids.) 12:13 PM Nov 15th from web
  14. Ohwow. At the gym here there are inspirational bible quotes. I prefer LA's gyms w inspirational bikini models. 3:20 PM Nov 14th from txt
  15. Got really freaked because I thought I found a lump in my bewb. It was a cheeto. So, I won't get insurance paid implants or a wig, but YUM! 9:58 PM Nov 13th from web
  16. How much should you tell your new bf/gf about your past sex life? http://www.milwaukeemagazin... 10:19 AM Nov 13th from web
  17. Well, hey der Milwaukee. It's nice to see you agai- Shit it's cold! 10:32 AM Nov 12th from txt
  18. National Geographic is going badass and calling itself Nat Geo. What next? Lifetime rebrands as BitchTits? 9:52 PM Nov 11th from txt
  19. Hey everybody! You have to try "just waltzing in" somewhere! People are always saying you can't, but it is amazingly effective. 7:42 PM Nov 11th from web
  20. Just got shouted at by protesters at Planned Parenthood. Nothing funny to say. It was terrifying. 10:25 AM Nov 11th from txt