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Nick_Nolte

  1. Just stabbed a cigar store Indian in the belly. That one was for Custer. Heh, keistered me a couple a stogies on the way out too.
  2. Just whittled me a pony keg out of an actual pony. Was a bitch gettin 'im to stay still.
  3. Lotta people like a little hair a the dog the morning after. I prefer to gut it, skin it, and throw it on the barbecue.
  4. Dang, is it July already? Better break out my stars n stripes bandanna and gook ear necklace.
  5. Sometimes I like to drink my whiskey Mexican style, with a worm and a sombrero.
  6. I prefer to crap where I got homefield advantage.
  7. Hold the phone, pardner, did somebody say "lactating whales"? http://bit.ly/SAIdK
  8. Big afternoon. Me and the ol' flask're gonna head down to the Costco for some free samples.
  9. Seems like whenever I try to wash my lucky sweatpants in the tub, they end up with more dog fur on em than when I started.
  10. My advice? Live every day like it's Taco Tuesday.
  11. Looks like Ol' Nolte's got 5,000 followers. You know what that means. Miller time.
  12. Pff, these guys are amateurs. http://is.gd/16Chx First you put the coke in the sharks, then you smuggle the sharks inside a whale.
  13. Yessir, I love me a Friday. Been drinkin' all week in anticipation.
  14. Wrestle like a turk, drink like an Eskimo. That's what my third wife Melba always said, before she died of dysentery back in '58.
  15. Barbara Walters once punched me in the throat outside a saloon in Tuscon. Heck of a lady.
  16. Back on my ranch I got more'n 6000 head a cattle. Ain't worth as much without the bodies, though.
  17. Lunchtime. Whiskey in a bread bowl. Life's alright.
  18. 'The Hangover' reminds me a the time I woke up on Billy Carter's couch inside a sleeping bag with an eskimo woman.
  19. Eastwood took me out for Gook food last night. We had a good time, a few drinks, yadda yadda yadda, I'm missin a left shoe.
  20. Aw, hell. I just crapped a popsicle stick.