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Canada
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United Kingdom
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Indonesia
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Ireland
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India
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Jordan
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New Zealand
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United States
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NickSwardson

  1. My homie Fred. Ladies get up on this. # Boston 508-847-2224 say.ly/zBk3peL
  2. @DirtRoadDiva777 yeah they are. I'm from Minnesota.
  3. Another #FF my dear friend @joeldavidmoore he was J.P. the robot guy from Grandma's Boy. He has a very polished robot vagina.
  4. @mmaears23ears23 I'm not. I've been living the last ten years as a gay ghost. I got trampled to death at a George Michael concert in '02.
  5. Cinnabon should make a cologne. And a lube.
  6. #FF I fucked up. Follow my buddy @ChrisEvans. I put a space in it last time cause I have a baby dick. #CaptainAmerica #Avengers
  7. #FF these are my home boys. Follow them and many smells will come to you. Good and bad. @Chris Evans @happymadison
  8. Trying to think of ideas for Grandma's Boy 2. Maybe we go to Japan. #robotvagina @Happy Madison
  9. Following the Lakers loss, Pau Gasol immediately returned to Saturn where he is a model and also owns a squeeb zeeb zop store.
  10. On the set of Grown Ups 2 with my home boy @DavidSpade. say.ly/aSA3mBA
  11. Just saw a commercial for a show called 'Duets'. Finally someone has the balls to make a singing show- (shot gun blows my head and dick off)
  12. "Don't hate. Figure skate." - Abraham Lincoln
  13. Me and Sandler promoting 'That's My Boy' at UCSB. Hard R comedy. I have a mullet in the movie. Maybe a boner. #June15th say.ly/Kon3kHD
  14. @nealbrennan shitdick?
  15. It's a great time to buy property in Rack City. My dick just landed a sweet place in between 2 mountains. #rackcitybitch
  16. Check out the movie #ChernobylDiaries. It's basically camera phone footage of my last trip to Russia. Peep it. chernobyldiaries.warnerbros.com/index.html
  17. Thought I found a snake in my garage. Turns out it was a bunch of spiders in a snake costume going to a party. Thank god. Hate real snakes.
  18. I got my mom some flowers and she was offended. Wtf???!!! -oh and by flowers I mean cocaine.
  19. @benry26 a sex change and then change it back the next weekend.