NickACarpenter
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Dick and Lynne Cheney? RT stephenFerosh Honestly, @ and @ are the sexiest couple I've ever seen in my life.
22 minutes ago
from web
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RT @: - Here is the creepy/drunken Santa photo again...the first one disappeared.
about 9 hours ago
from web
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Don't forget to vote on the photos. Everyone's doing it. Barbara Bush voted on the snuggie one. Nancy Reagen voted on the Santa one.
about 9 hours ago
from web
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RT @: - Here is the "nerdy" one...
about 9 hours ago
from web
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RT @: - Here is the Drunken/Creepy Santa (@)...haha
about 11 hours ago
from web
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RT @: - Here is the Snuggies one...
about 11 hours ago
from web
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RT @: We took some holiday card photos and can't decide which one to use!! Help us decide! Snuggies? Nerdy sweaters? Or Dru
...
about 11 hours ago
from web
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Get ready for a thrilling interactive contest tomorrow featuring me and @. You MAY even get to see my wiener or face.
about 21 hours ago
from UberTwitter
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Took a 16 hour nap and had to be revived by hunky paramedics. I should have waited til I was off the freeway. I mean bed. I mean 1 hour.
4:10 PM Nov 29th
from UberTwitter
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Celebrating thanksgiving tonight. Also, I will be celebrating New Years Eve Dec 28. So I'll already be in '10 when you're still in '09.
3:20 PM Nov 28th
from UberTwitter
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Can't believe I'm decorating a Christmas tree. Seems like just yesterday I put down our Turkey with an axe in front of our neighbors kids.
9:15 PM Nov 27th
from UberTwitter
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Stocked up on pampers today. I give em as gifts to my male friends who don't have kids so when they open it they have a better chance of sex
6:21 PM Nov 27th
from web
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I look like Richard Pryor RT @ - Check out @ and I in this weeks issue of US Weekly!!!
10:32 AM Nov 27th
from web
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Don't forget that your turkey died for Spiderman, Mother Teresa, Ted Danson, Carl Lewis and Meg Ryan's sins. Clean your plate.
9:58 AM Nov 26th
from web
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@ no we're going to the Shanghai premiere on Robin Williams' jet.
6:57 PM Nov 25th
from web
in reply to DevonESawa
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Oh did I say heaven? I mean't being eaten by a sperm whale with rabies and aids.
6:14 PM Nov 25th
from UberTwitter
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@ are you really asking me really? That looks like it could be the worst movie in the history of all mankind.
6:12 PM Nov 25th
from UberTwitter
in reply to DevonESawa
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When I think of what heaven might be like, I think of the movie "Old Dogs" on a bazillion trillion inch LCD tv, over and over.
6:00 PM Nov 25th
from UberTwitter
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Got an oven mitt stuck on my hand last night. Doctor says it has to fall off naturally. I may put one on my other hand to avoid being judged
10:54 AM Nov 25th
from web
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@ its not really appropriate for twitter, it involves baby sea lions and aids and antique Dale Earnhardt plates. Call me.
6:38 PM Nov 24th
from UberTwitter
in reply to AndyMilonakis
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- Name Nicholas Carpenter
- Location Los Angeles, California
- Bio I'm like a Swanson Salisbury Steak I guess
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