NancyDrew2
Just received a “mortal enemies” request on facebook…finally, something useful on there.
| Attempting an optimistic attitude at work today…not sure it will really happen… |
|
| Staring at my reflection in my coffee cup while "The Twilight Zone" theme plays repeatedly in my head, I need to switch to drinking water. |
|
| I enjoy decorating my work space to cause prying people to question my personal life and mental stability |
|
| 1930s ads have Lysol used for feminine hygiene, it really is the multi-purpose cleaner! |
|
| Watching Susan Sarandon belt out "Piece of my Heart" with Eddie Izzard on keyboard made Romance & Cigarettes one of my favorites movies. |
|
| I was just called an "evil little elf", I find the comment strangely like an ego-boosting protein shake. |
|
| My co-workers attempted to have conversations with my email auto-response, I must laugh or I will cry at my full in-box. |
|
| To the creepy gym guy: Men who are looking at middle age through a rear-view mirror should not attempt to keep pace with lithe young women. |
|
| Some strange looking people with PETA written on their shirts are at my door... |
|
| If I am forced to run over an animal I prefer to do it straight down the middle giving it the four paws in the air comical look. |
|
| Forever young means skipping out on wine country to play at Chucky Cheese and cheat at whack-a-mole for tickets. |
|
| Avoid talking to strangers on airplanes by either coughing or reading up on your Quantum Physics, I did both and got a seat to myself. |
|
| I am being forced against my will to live like a hermit without technology for a week. Where's the Professor and MaryAnn when I need them? |
|
| Please don't explain why you bought this gift for me, I prefer to wonder. My conclusion will be more exciting than your lame answer. |
|
| You know you are a teacher when you spell check and edit your twitters in Word before posting. God forbid a student knows you're human. |
|
| Dear Presidential candidates on WWE RAW last night…what were you trying to accomplish? |
|
| In today's police log: Officers attempted to scare the bear away by making "anti-bear noises"...I need to get back to the city. |
|
| Lady at Macy's make-up counter: A mysterious expression will add a lovely sheen to your complexion. |
|
| Just signed up for an employee outing...to a shooting range...no joke there... |
|