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NOLAKevin

  1. My story's infinite. Like the Longines Symphonette. 4:14 PM May 17th via Tweetbot for iOS
  2. You gotta fight/For your right/To stay home and watch "$25,000 Pyramid" reruns on the Game Show Network 6:24 PM May 4th via Tweetbot for iOS
  3. Can't we just party, carambo, fiesta for a little while? #fearofcommitment 9:10 PM May 2nd via Tweetbot for iOS
  4. Ashes to ashes/Funk to funky/ We know Major Tom/Has substance abuse issues #firstdraftlyrics 9:20 PM Apr 25th via Tweetbot for iOS
  5. All the other kids with the pumped-up kicks probably don't have MY custom orthotics for fallen arches! #dontbehatin 3:26 PM Apr 22nd via Tweetbot for iOS
  6. Ca plane pour moi. Ca plane pour moi. Ca plane pour moi moi moi moi moi. Ca plane pour moi. 11:30 AM Apr 21st via Tweetbot for iOS
  7. Droppin' it like it's MILDLY TEPID #holla 10:10 AM Apr 21st via Tweetbot for iOS
  8. Unlike Shakira's, my hips most definitely DO lie. 9:03 AM Apr 17th via Tweetbot for iOS
  9. German New Wave singers settle their taxes in 99 luftballon payments. 7:34 PM Apr 15th via Tweetbot for iOS
  10. My milkshake brings all the stray dogs and cats in the neighborhood to the yard. Damn right it's better than yours. 1:46 PM Apr 14th via Tweetbot for iOS
  11. If you get caught between the moon and New York City, best that you can do is rebook by calling the 800 number. Why stand in a long line? 8:11 PM Apr 13th via Tweetbot for iOS
  12. I've got 99 problems, but a well-balanced stock portfolio and a sound retirement strategy ain't one. 9:41 PM Apr 11th via Tweetbot for iOS
  13. For 25 years, I've resisted the urge to "Wang Chung tonight." 9:35 PM Feb 20th via Tweetbot for iOS
  14. Beyoncė urges all the single ladies to "put a ring on it" without specifying what it is. That seems irresponsible. 8:20 PM Feb 17th via Tweetbot for iOS
  15. Confidential to Tone-Loc: 20 seconds in the microwave really takes the edge off the Funky Cold Medina. 8:21 PM Feb 1st via Tweetbot for iOS
  16. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge. That would mean invoices, tax forms, and it all seems like too much trouble, frankly. 8:21 PM Jan 31st via Tweetbot for iOS
  17. Turn around, bright eyes. 10:46 PM Jan 26th via Tweetbot for iOS
  18. Prince sings about meeting his girl at the "Club International Balls." What woman wouldnt want to go to a club named for testicles? 10:31 PM Jan 6th via Twitter for iPad
  19. Today I'm moving like Jagger. And by that, I mean I'm moving like a 68-year-old man with a history of substance abuse. 9:26 AM Jan 2nd via Twitter for iPad
  20. Rabbit! Black eyed peas. Cabbage. 5:55 PM Jan 1st via Mobile Web