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MyFunnyMessages

  1. RIP Lady Gaga. Today, the day of your fake death, I will have a poker face "P-p-p-poker face (Mum mum mum mah)" 5:12 AM May 23rd via web
  2. @LAKings - Everyone outside the city with no hockey fans.. thanks you! Please RT, thanks :) 5:03 AM May 23rd via web
  3. During yesterdays EPL match between Manchester and Manchester, I cheered for Manchester. 12:08 PM May 1st via web
  4. There's a soccer player named 'Yourassowsky.' 11:00 AM Apr 17th via web
  5. @LAKings Jonathan Quick.. is quick! #GoKings 7:52 AM Apr 14th via web
  6. Good Friday is good because it's a day off work. 2:19 PM Apr 6th via web
  7. Marriage is the leading cause of divorce. 9:54 AM Mar 22nd via web
  8. It's Valentine's Day. I will be spending this very special day, with myself. 8:44 AM Feb 14th via web
  9. Macaulay Culkin isn't looking good. I guess he was "Home Alone." 12:15 PM Feb 9th via web
  10. I got a new joke. I'd tweet it, but it's not funny. 10:44 AM Feb 9th via web
  11. #YouShouldNeverTrust a man who ain't funny. That would be me. 8:49 AM Feb 7th via web
  12. I think Tom Cruise should go on a cruise. @TomCruise 4:08 AM Feb 7th via web
  13. Instead of requesting a trade, Tom Brady will be trading himself. 8:02 AM Feb 6th via web
  14. I think Sunday mass should give Jesus the day off and dedicate itself to Tom Brady.. #Superbowl #GoPatriots 9:21 AM Feb 5th via web
  15. The Amazing Race - What's so amazing about it after 19 seasons? 11:06 AM Jan 30th via web
  16. I know a lot of people. I just don't know any of their names. 12:53 PM Jan 26th via web
  17. I had Broccoli for breakfast today. This is my eighth time saying it. #Broccoli 12:14 PM Jan 24th via web
  18. It's -16 outside. I guess I'm not breathing enough. 11:29 AM Jan 14th via web
  19. Half the things I say make no sense. #Winning 10:41 AM Jan 13th via web
  20. I'm Charlie Sheen - minus the drugs, alcohol and women. 3:53 PM Dec 25th, 2011 via web
  • Name Dave
  • Location Toronto, Ontario
  • Web http://www.my-fun...
  • Bio I'm a comedian who ain't funny. Bob Saget now has competition. My twitter feeds will feature one liners, links to funny stuff and site updates.
10 Following 32 Followers 0 Listed
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