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Murphenur

iJesusCHRlST Someone needs to tell this bottle of whiskey that it's Tuesday night... #Hammered 1:11 AM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by Murphenur and 8 others
SteeperCPGA “@Tylerk59: @SteeperCPGA I thought that was our #MEN night" <-- Tuesdays at Movado's are $25 for a pitcher of beer & 40 wings #MEN 9:25 PM May 29th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by Murphenur
"Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined" how many MVPs did they win? 7:34 AM May 30th via Twitter for Android
iJesusCHRlST Heaven: Where there's no such thing as hangovers and the girls always say yes. 6:38 PM May 27th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by Murphenur and 230 others
iJesusCHRlST The problem with sending Kim Jong Il to Hell is that Hell is better than North Korea. 7:14 PM May 26th via GrabInbox Retweeted by Murphenur and 214 others
PaulinaGretzky Gotta love this kid @BizNasty2point0 twitter.com/PaulinaGretzky… 6:37 PM May 26th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by Murphenur and 143 others
iJesusCHRlST Yes officer, I DO realize how fast I was going. Before you write me a ticket though, do YOU realize that my father is the almighty? #OWNED 5:13 PM May 23rd via Buffer Retweeted by Murphenur and 26 others
BizNasty2point0 Sweet cage @BENder6129. If you defend the way you do in your profile picture you'll b playing mens league in no time. Stick on puck bender. 4:32 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone in reply to BENder6129 Retweeted by Murphenur and 217 others
simonpegg The amount of people who believed I am 56 is an indication that a) I look older than I am and b) Twitter is a nexus for hopeless morons. 12:35 PM May 23rd via TweetDeck Retweeted by Murphenur and 362 others
iJesusCHRlST I look like Luke Skywalker in my high school yearbook. #Puberty 12:51 PM May 23rd via Buffer Retweeted by Murphenur and 7 others
BizNasty2point0 Just found out you can't pay for child support with draw something coins, WTF? 1:52 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by Murphenur and 810 others
davidalangrier This work out shit is hard! 10:56 AM May 22nd via Echofon Retweeted by Murphenur and 8 others
iJesusCHRlST Loaves and fishes for my hoes and bitches. 2:21 PM May 21st via GrabInbox Retweeted by Murphenur and 589 others
iJesusCHRlST Remember I died for your sins. So if you don’t sin, I died for nothing. 2:21 PM May 20th via GrabInbox Retweeted by Murphenur and 864 others
iJesusCHRlST Even I hate Nickelback. 6:49 AM May 20th via GrabInbox Retweeted by Murphenur and 477 others
Car0lineSweet87 wish i could trade my heart in for another liver, that way i could drink more and care less 6:21 PM May 19th via web Retweeted by Murphenur and 4 others
@kirstenbueckert did you want another pic of my cat? 10:17 AM May 18th via Twitter for Android in reply to kirstenbueckert
@kirstenbueckert I'm sure you have. 10:16 AM May 18th via Twitter for Android in reply to kirstenbueckert
"@kirstenbueckert: yes I know. Going to Tony's cabin again this weekend???" Nope, never been there... Off at 3 today tho 10:11 AM May 18th via Twitter for Android
Gizmodo Follow along with the ups and downs of Zuck's ever-fluxuating wealth. You know you want to. gizmo.do/0uwm 9:35 AM May 18th via SocialFlow Retweeted by Murphenur and 15 others